It has been several months since I lasted wrote. Life got extremely busy as of recent: I started a new job and my wife just gave birth to our third child. I promised God and myself that I would gather up the strength to write again once our baby boy was born. The reason for this is two-fold: I believe God will use my writing help me grow in holiness and others in holiness. That being said, the title of my post as been many months in the making. Here are three reasons for why suffering allowed me to grow closer to God.
- I believe in God more because of the hell I been through. Let me explain this statement. Last year my family and I faced a myriad of challenges and I was literally on the brink of doubting my faith. I lost my job and I lost a baby due to my wife having a miscarriage. I actually had suicidal thoughts and doubted the existence of God. Despite this intense suffering and doubt, I never abandoned the tenants of my Catholic faith and I never gave up doing the morally right thing. And through the grace of God in the sacraments I have been blessed with a great new job and a wonderful new baby boy. I have also gained a mindset of thankfulness on a daily basis because I seek to live in the present moment now.
- My marriage was tested by fire this past year and it is stronger than ever. I promised on my wedding day to share in both the joys and trials of life with my wife. We never would have realized that we would experience the personal loss of a child five years ago on our wedding day. However, when the going got incredibly trying my wife and I sent many salvos of lament prayers to God to aid us in our grief and pain. Today, my wife and I take nothing for granted and we seek to communicate our love in a more effective means as well.
- Through my losses I gained an important virtue– patience. When I lost my job I struggled to find new and lasting employment. I sent in a lot of applications which garnered little success at times. In those moments leading to when my family and I would lose out on healthcare coverage, I did not know how God could use that situation for good. Today, I now know. God was whittling away at my brashness and anger through the method of suffering. Out of this period of suffering I emerged with an augmented virtue of patience. It is this patience that I use daily in my vocations of husband and father. Going through my immense pain led me to a better place with my children today. I am less impatient and I am better able to live in the present instead of looking to the past or to the distant future.
I sincerely hope that I am able to make my writing a more frequent occurrence. Words will never be enough to express my gratitude toward God for all the blessings and lessons he has given me this past year. In my suffering I found a kind of redemption–I am a new man, a man that will not take things for granted in this life anymore. This post is the beginning of my humble attempt to glorify God by sharing my daily moments of grace with you my readers.