Say YES to the NO—Practicing Self-Denial

The Italian mystic St. Paul of the Cross boldly said, “Be as eager to break your own will as the thirsty stag is to drink of the refreshing waters.” I emphasized the phrase break your own will as that imaginary stood out as quite audacious. To break the will seems such a violent thing to do to yourself.  After researching a bit on this saint, I learned that Paul was the founder of the Passionists a religious order dedicated to a penitential life in solitude and poverty. Since, Paul of the Cross lived in isolation from the world do his words hold any meaning for a regular, ‘normal’ people who hold down jobs, have a family? Should not “super-holiness” be reserved for priests and nuns?

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According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraph 2013, “All Christians in any state or walk of life are called to the fullness of Christian life and to the perfection of charity.”65 All are called to holiness: “Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” We are coming up on the perfect season to increase our holiness— Lent! The Lenten season is modeled after Jesus’ 40 day time in the wilderness. Because Jesus is God, he was able to stave off the allures of the Devil. His witness showed that both praying and fasting disable the weaponry of the Evil One. The practice of self-denial is absolutely essential in growing in virtue! Saying YES to God through prayer allows us to say NO to those unhealthy pleasures of the world—through the practice of fasting.

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I struggle mightily with the pressures of the world, and those self-imposed. Anger, resentment, and impatience come as a result of succumbing to the things of this world instead of first saying YES to God and praying. Self-reflection and renewing a practice for saying YES to pray helps begin a habit of saying NO to the temptations of impatience, pride, greed, envy, power-control, etc. St. Francis de Sales affirms the message of Paul of the Cross, the Catechism and Christ by stating, “The more one mortifies his natural inclinations, the more he renders himself capable of receiving divine inspirations and of progressing in virtue.” Be fast to practice fasting. If you struggle at first remember to say YES to God (pray!) in order to say NO to yourself.

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How to Develop a Thankful Mentality— Be Grateful for Everything!

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Saint Gianna Beretta Molla said, “The secret of happiness is to live moment by moment and to thank God for what He is sending us every day in His goodness.” Ingratitude is a cancer that destroys the best of relationships, all previous successes, and precedes despair. In preparation for the season of Lent, I am focusing on developing a better daily habit– that of more graciousness for life both good and bad.

Let’s do an experiment. Get a timer for look at your watch or clock and time yourself for a minute,m. During this 60 seconds list out all of the various things in your life that you’re grateful for. You can type this out or jot it down on a piece of paper. At the end of the minute look at the various things that you’re grateful for below are a  list of my items. Note: For the sake of transparency I listed the things in the order that they popped into my head. The ordering is not a reflection of the priority of gratitude!

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Coffee

  1. Kids
  2. Blankets
  3. Car
  4. Food
  5. Books
  6. Writing
  7. Computer
  8. Phone
  9. Bed
  10. Internet
  11. Comic books
  12. Babies
  13. Wife
  14. Faith
  15. Desks
  16. Keyboard
  17. Paper
  18. Pencil
  19. Pens
  20. Heater
  21. Garage
  22. Learning/failing
  23. Lists


  24. Whether your list is larger or smaller than mine does not matter. What I am certain of is that you could certainly think of at least ONE person or thing you are thankful for. This exercise took only 1 MINUTE! Image performing this simple test of thankfulness every hour of the day. Aristotle once wrote, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” Start your life anew with developing a sense of gratitude. Develop a sense of thankfulness no matter what happens in life. Happiness and peace will soon follow!

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Live and Let Go of Bitterness and Anger

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My parish priest declared in his Sunday homily, “Nothing has disturbed people more than unforgiveness.”  Harboring resentment against individuals who offended or betrayed you only hurts you in the long run. I struggled, and still struggle in some cases, with people who hurt me in seemingly unforgiveable ways.

Jesus urges us in Luke 6:27-38 to love and forgive not only our friends, but also our enemies. Throughout history Christianity has maintained in its official teaching the importance and reality that sins may be forgiven. According to the Catechism of the Church, God’s mercy is infinite, “There is no offense, however serious, that the Church cannot forgive. “There is no one, however wicked and guilty, who may not confidently hope for forgiveness, provided his repentance is honest.529 Christ who died for all men desires that in his Church the gates of forgiveness should always be open to anyone who turns away from sin” (CCC 982).

If you find it difficult to forgive those that hurt you in the past, implore God for the graces to forgive and love as He loves. Simply petition God with the words, “Help me to forgive as I don’t know how to forgive. But I trust in your mercy and love.” The Gospel from this Sunday concludes with Jesus’ promise of graces to be poured out if you extend mercy and forgiveness to all. Only true peace and life within you will spring forth from the tentacles of unforgivness are cut down and out of your heart. Go to confession, attend Mass frequently, and ask God daily to bestow you the gift of a merciful heart.


“Give (forgive), and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap.” —Luke 6:38

“During mental prayer, it is well, at times, to imagine that many insults and injuries are being heaped upon us, that misfortunes have befallen us, and then strive to train our heart to bear and forgive these things patiently, in imitation of our Saviour. This is the way to acquire a strong spirit.” — St. Philip Neri

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