I am a guest blogger for https://robertbatch.com/ and the topic of saints and Mary. Please feel free to visit to learn more.
I am a guest blogger for https://robertbatch.com/ and the topic of saints and Mary. Please feel free to visit to learn more.
Joseph Pieper, a 20th century German Catholic philosopher, once stated in Happiness and Contemplation,“Repose, leisure, peace, belong among the elements of happiness. If we have not escaped from harried rush, from mad pursuit, from unrest, from the necessity of care, we are not [fully] happy. And what of contemplation? Its very premise is freedom from the fetters of workaday busyness.” I think every person needs to be daily reminded of this message. It seems that lately I have been encountering a flood of fleetingness. Craziness abounds in both my work and home—demands piles up both from company leadership and my children.
Instead of me thriving and managing the stresses of daily routine, life has become a panicked response to these hurried stimuli. I wish there is some why for me to fight this raining of rashness. I really mean to fight it. I wish I this precipitation of precipitateness could manifest itself in a physical form so I could perform an epic beat down on it. My wife recently started kick-boxing for her morning exercise routine—so please do not think I am always a violent person! Would it not be nice to pull a Chuck Norris and roundhouse kick stress, busyness, and hurriedness into oblivion? Although it may be a pipe-dream to pull that off this donnybrook on stress literally, there are a few tips I have learned from my Catholic faith, my counseling sessions, and through my own life experience that help me stave off the burdens of busyness.
1. Present Before the Greatest Presence: According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church number 1323, “The Eucharist is “the source and summit of the Christian life.”136 “The other sacraments, and indeed all ecclesiastical ministries and works of the apostolate, are bound up with the Eucharist and are oriented toward it.” Oftentimes I fall into the trap of citing official church documents in hopes of slamming the door on any possible counter-argument to the truth. I have recently learned the errors in my line of thought. Great, I cited the official teaching of the Catholic Church on the sacrament of the Eucharist. But what exactly does this mean for me on an individual level. Do I experience any sort of change or transformation through my encounter with this divine presence?
I wish that I could provide you an answer to all possible questions on this topic. But to be honest, I would only be kidding myself and I would fall short. I would be an inadequate emissary for the Catholic Church. For more information on rational arguments for belief in the Real Presence in the Eucharist please refer to my post What Happened When I Critically Read John 6?. What I can provide is my perspective, despite the fact that it is limited. I am actually most at peace in this life when I sit quiet before the sacrament of the Eucharist in Adoration. As a Catholic, I truly believe that during the Mass the bread and wine is transformed into the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit. Communicating with God through the form of the Blessed Sacrament is where I am most at peace. Sacraments are visible signs of an invisible reality.
The second place I am most at peace is when I make myself vulnerable to my wife and share my dreams, fears, and worries to her. In the sacrament of marriage the love of God is made manifest in the exchange of a husband and wife [I rely on this type of presence of God more frequently than the Eucharist simply because it is more readily available].
Jesus never stressed about the busyness of this world. Even when he heard the terrible news of his close friend’s Lazarus dying Jesus never hurried. In reply to the concerned words of Lazarus’ sisters Christ calmly states in John 11:4, “This illness is not to end in death,* but is for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” Perhaps the worries and stresses God allows in my life was a preparation for his glory and display of mastery of them later in time. Through the sacraments I acquire calmness of mind and heart.
2. Cudgeling through Communication: How do you handle stressful situations? This was an interview question a prospective employer once asked me. I paused for a couple moments to collect my thoughts. I then provided two simple ways: communication and patience. As I stated above, I increase my patience through the graces I receive in the sacraments. Regarding communication, I have worked to consciously improve the manner and tone by which I rely information both at work and home.
What I have found out is that clearly and concisely conveying information is a surefire way to mitigate or defeat stressful situations. My counselor at my appointment today advised me to take a different perspective [i.e. try to see things from my manager’s vantage point] before I react and communicate something in a stressful event.
3. Perfectionists are not Perfect: Something I struggle with frequently is my tendency toward perfection. I have always been a perfectionist and an idealist. A large part of this may be due to my OCD inclinations and strong desire to have things in an straightforwardly organized manner. I want things to be predictable. There is an internal conflict within myself over desiring control over situations. I am blessed to have my wife in my life to provide an alternative approach to life. Through her example, I have slowly [hopefully surely!] worked toward a balanced approach to the stressful situations in life. Perfectionists are not perfect. We seek to attain it daily, but we will always fall short.
Does that mean I need to lower my expectations or my standards? There is a question that I may have an answer to later in my life. What I do know is that I need to come to grips with the reality that humanity is fallen. Perfection is not to be fully attained in this life—it is hinted at through the holy witness of the saints and the life of Jesus Christ!
Words cannot describe my gratitude and joy I experienced when my wife threw an Office-themed birthday party celebrating my 30th birthday [I will be joining the three decade club at the end of July]. I found the above picture of Michael Scott [main character of The Office] to best display my admiration and thankfulness to her.
Even though words will be inadequate to fully thank my wife for setting up the party and for my family and friends who participated in the festivities I am not one to shy away from a daunting task such as this. I will put forth my best effort to compose a thank you post that hopefully will equate to a drop of thanksgiving into the ocean of love that my wife pours out to me daily!
Dear Jenny [family and friends as well!],
I was humbled by the tremendous amount of time, effort, and meticulous coordination to planning and hosting my birthday party. I enjoyed all of the pranks that you pulled on me and I will cherish those memories forever. I especially enjoy the clandestine prank you pulled off with the help of our friend—he came dressed as ME to begin the party! It was fun to play the various games associated with our favorite T.V. show. I especially liked the paper airplane tournament [even though I did not win it J].
For my readers who are not familiar with The Office, there is an awards, similar to the Oscars, Emmys, of Golden Globes, that Michael Scott [played by actor Steve Carrell] hosted each year. He made unique, funny, and sometimes inappropriate awards to give to his employees. I thank you again Jenny for my Dundie Award of Best Weird Song Creator [I make up weird songs to sing to our kids]. My only regret for the party is I did not get you the Best, Awesome, Amazing, Fantastic, Unbelievable, Incredible, Marvolous, Stunning, Creative, Fascinating, Surprising, Wonderful, Greatest, Splendid, Thoughtful, Intelligent, Determined, Worker, Intense, Good Worker, Hard Worker, Terrific, Unselfish, Caring, Loving, Forgiving, Perfect Wife Dundie Award!
I could go on and go as I have my trusty Thesaurus feed me adjectives. However, I need to thank my family and friends [plus my O.C.D. could only handle under 70 words in a sentence J]
Thank you to my incredible family and friends. I am always humbled by the support you have shown me throughout my life. This weekend was fun and joyful. It would not be as exciting or memorable if you all went not present. Thank you again!
I will close this thank-you post in a similar manner as I begin it—a reference to my favorite fictional manager Michael Scott. The Dunder Mifflin regional manager sums up my gratitude toward my wife Jenny best,
People I respect, heroes of mine, would be Bob Hope… Abraham Lincoln, definitely. Bono [Jenny as well for myself!]. And probably God would be the fourth one. And I just think all those people really helped the world in so many ways that it’s really beyond words. It’s really incalculable.
Depression, a short temper, and negativity have haunted me for a large part of my life. This summer has been a season of change and improvement for my family. We have been actively working to obtain academic and early childhood services for our kids. My wife and I are exercising more regularly and eating healthier as well. Together with the physical aspect of self-improvement, I have focused on my mental health as well. I started seeing a counselor to assist me with my anxiety. I want to provide you—my readers—with a progress report of how I am doing in the realm of mental well-being. Furthermore, I am writing on my progress for two specific reasons: to journal my journey and help me maintain my commitment and to provide tips for others who struggle with similar vices. I want to be a beacon of hope for you and my family!
1. Help is Healthy: The old me used to shudder at the thought of asking for help. Resulting from a combination of my hubris and a misconception of counseling by our culture, I used to believe that people who went to counseling sessions failed at life. I dragged my feet at the idea of seeking professional counseling to help me deal with my daily anxiety. Through the fervor of my wife and my mother I finally scheduled—and kept—a counseling appointment! I actually felt relief after our session. In the following weeks, I have incorporated the tactics provided by the counselor.
Needing help is not a sign of weakness. Instead, accepting authentic help to remedy an illness or vice indicates a person’s strength of character. It shows humility and trust- both virtues I need to continue to learn and master daily!
2. Learning Opportunities instead of Failures: A former manager of mine had a poster outside his cubicle that add an euphemistic acronym for the word F.A.I.L.—First attempt in learning. This simple, but profound message has always stuck in the back of my mind.
To be honest, living out the poster’s lesson is a constant challenge for me. However, during these last couple of weeks, my patience level among my failures improved. Re-orienting my negative thoughts on failure, I have moved toward seeing situations that did not go my way at work and home more in a neutral light [tip I got from counselingJ]. Putting a positive, or at least neutral, spin on a tough circumstance allowed my patience to grow.
3. Stockpiling Strategies: Along with acknowledgment help as healthy and donning my positivity glasses, I have collected a sundry of tools to aid me in the battle against anxiety and impatience. I am grateful for the fidget cube craze is coinciding with my oldest son’s
current obsession over Legos. I use the various stress relievers on my generic fidget cub and comic book caricatures of my favorite DC superhero Lego mini-figures to center myself during a stressful situation at work. An added bonus if I get to think about comic books during my break and lunch times!
4. Fleeing My Fortress of Solitude?: Superheroes tend to house their headquarters in locations away access to the general populace. The Bat Cave is underneath Gotham City. Superman’s Fortress of Solitude is away from civilization on a frozen environment. These heroes are strong individually but combining their talents and experiences led to the development of the Justice League.
Living in a detached manner from others leads to despair and lack of patience. During these past few weeks I have moved out of my figurative fortress of solitude and found a Watchtower [HQ of the Justice League!] through increased communication with my wife. Together we have leaned on each other for support and help during our summer busyness. I am more relaxed and patient as I work toward teaming up with my wife [and the Holy Spirit!] in the sacrament of marriage.
My pilgrimage toward patience is fresh with excitement that I have not hit any speed bumps or roadblocks. But hardship, difficulty, and strife will happen. I sense it coming soon on the horizon. I ask for your continued thoughts and prayers for me to keep steadfast to me helpmates and strategies as I continue the long and joyous path of holiness.
I am a board game super-fan. I own over 50 board games, 15 card games, and I am even in the process of completing a board game. I hope to have it published by my son’s next birthday! I am grateful I found a wife who shares my enthusiasm for board game as well. Over the past years, we have moved toward playing cooperative-based games such as Pandemic, Flashpoint, Police Precinct, and The Oregon Trail Card Game. The driving force toward this shift away from competitive play is that it is easier to adjust two-player cooperative games than creating a two-player version of Settlers of Catan or Ticket to Ride. Despite our focus on cooperative gaming, my wife and I have made it a habit to continue our summer tradition of playing backgammon. This summer we are playing a 100 point match that will last throughout the season. I wish to share my thoughts and excitement on this endeavor.
1. Simple, Yet Complex: Backgammon is one the oldest board games in history. Dating as far back as 5,000 years archaeologists have found a board race game similar to backgammon in ancient Mesopotamia! The game’s simplicity is a major reason for its enduring success and popularity throughout history. Another reason I enjoy the game is that although it is a relatively simple game there exists some complexity in the various strategies a player may employ. Relatively recently, a doubling cube has been added to backgammon [mostly for gambling purposes] that enhances and adds depth to each individual game.
2. Continuous Date Night: Starting in late June, my wife and I started a backgammon match that will conclude once the score of 100 is attained. Each individual game is valued at 1 or more points [depending on the circumstances, the severity of the winner’s victory, or whether the doubling die was used]. A benefit to us playing a game that contains miniature individual games over a long span of time is that our date nights have a feel of being one continuous date night. We have also grown closer as a couple through this leisure activity.
3. Variety: Along with creating continuity between date nights, our marathon summer backgammon match infuses some variety into each of our dates. Some games are quick and one-sided [like this week’s game where my wife backgammoned me and gained triple points for the win!] while other sessions are longer and suspenseful until the final dice roll. I am grateful I took up an interest in this traditional board game in 2009 and my spouse developed a similar fervor toward backgammon as well.
An important thing I learned over my seven years of marriage is that couples need to set aside quality time together to bond and relax from the stresses of daily routine. We have found our own routine of playing board games after we put our children to sleep. I urge all marriage couples that read this post to reflect on the shared interests you have with your spouse and make it a priority to schedule time to engage in that unique activity. Sometimes grace and help come to us in interesting and fun forms—in my situation it is backgammon!