The dictionary defines resistance as the refusal to accept or comply with something. A common fruit of resistance is inaction. Today I am struggling immensely with resistance— resistance to get up this morning, go to work, and resistance to write! My family had a busy weekend. We celebrated my son’s birthday party and we had 15 kids running around our backyard for a few hours. On top of that Sunday we celebrated our priest’s going away party at our parish and took the kids out to the municipal zoo for a few hours before wrapping up with night by watching the Lego: Batman Movie. All in all it was a jam-packed weekend.
I normally get inspiration for my daily blog topic on my morning drive to work when I listen to Christian music. Today, I do not experience any such inspiration. I felt tired, unimaginative, and slothful. Resisting my feeling of resistance seemed futile. Thank goodness that statement is not true. I chose to act. Not with a grandiose or creative act, but with just a simple act. I choose to start writing. Sometimes that starting act is enough. We experience highs and lows in life. Today I am experiencing a low, a lull moment. My resistance to resistance is not much, but I am hopeful that it is enough to carry me to the next day—where my battle against resistance will begin anew. Tomorrow, I hope to write about how music inspires me. Hopefully, I will be inspired tomorrow during my morning drive to work listening to the radio. Hope. Because of its existence resistance is not futile!
Here is a continuation of a funny short story— based on characters I created from the antics of my oldest son in 2013.
Detective Daddy: Me
Concerned citizens: Jenny (my wife) and Amelia
Reformed Puzzler Pilfer [now a concerned citizen]: Noah
Sippy Cup Snatcher: Josiah
Prologue [set in spring 2013]:Detective Daddy was notified at 10am about a strange series of nocturnal occurrences at the Chicoine household. Several puzzle pieces have gone missing in the past week or two. A local citizen and concerned mother heard loud noises emitting from our son’s room. Upon entering she caught the Puzzle Pilferer red-handed!! He was dropping them down the heat vent. When Jenny questioned him about his dastardly deeds, this notorious fellow simply said “Uh-oh” and “Uh-hah”. Last afternoon when Detective Daddy returned home, he enlisted Jenny in sweeping the crime scene (Air Ventilation System) nothing was to be found. Looks like the Puzzler Pilferer will have to undergo a rigorous and unconventional interrogation method (Stay in timeout corner and rescinding him privilege of having a basketball and toy cars). Meanwhile the citizens of the Chicoine household will diligently search for those missing cognitive development toys. Time will tell whether things will settle down and the Puzzler Pilfer truly has been rehabilitated.
Present day: Returning from his Saturday afternoon run, the retired Detective Daddy rested in his front yard. Running always provided opportunity for him reflect on his life. Things have greatly changed in the past four years Daddy thought—but his family is in a better place!
Completing his most famous case and nabbing the Puzzle Pilferer that cool April night a few years ago was exhilarating. It also was taxing. The rehabilitation process, to reform the Puzzler Pilferer, took a lot out of the former private investigator. Moving to a new city, retiring from detective work, and taking up a low-key desk job as a mortgage modification specialist took away the stress of his previous career. However, there was always a certain restlessness Daddy had. A certain anxiety about whether he truly overcame the mischievous of the Puzzle Pilferer. Do shenanigans go ever forever or do they simply arise up again under a different guise and persona?
Citizens of the Chicoine household lamented over a precipitous precipitation related predicament—they were missing water from their sippy cups! Now as you may know, water is the most important natural resource known to man. The human body is composed of nearly 75% of H20. Initially, Daddy did not take these concerns too seriously. Perhaps the citizens simply drank the water and forgot they did so because of their engrossment within the ninja movies played at the local park theater [i.e. Living Room T.V.]. Instead of waning, the cries and citizenly concerns only increased as the week progressed.
Reluctantly, Daddy realized he had to don the deerstalker once again and become Detective Daddy! This mystery certainly eclipsed his case of the Puzzle Pilferer. An aquatic attack is an attack on the Chicoine water way of life. Pretending to do dishes, Detective Daddy waited until this mysterious Sippy Cup Snatcher revealed himself or herself. After what felt like hours [really only 5 minutes!] a two-foot tall toddler, with cuteness to kill, ambled across the local park [Living Room] and quickly snatched a green sippy cup. Leaning his head back, he chugged a few sips and proceeded to chuck the cup against the wall. Next he pirated water from his sister’s blue sippy cup!
Detective Daddy solved the mysterious identity of the Sippy Cup Snatcher, but the real challenge begins—building a case and a rehabilitation program to reform the Chicoine household’s most recent miscreant. Will our favorite private eye prevail or will this new friendly faced-foe best Detective Daddy? Will these shenanigans continue for good? Why does the Sippy Cup Snatcher only like green and blue cups? Will we discover the favorite shape of the reformed Puzzle Pilfer?
Anxiety is something I have struggled with for the majority of my life. In elementary school, I battled anxiety during standardized testing sessions, constant changes to my schedule, and my shyness in the classroom. As an adult, I was able to mitigate some of my anxiety—still worry continues to haunt me. I suffered from mild depression the last couple of years. Fortunately, I am blessed my faith and family continue to provide opportunities to help me out. Recently, I started going to a counselor to help me with my anxiety. I am come a long way because the old me was ashamed and embarrassed to admit I went to counseling. I felt like a failure for needing outside professional help.
What I have come to realize during my writing journey these past few months is that the Holy Spirit provides assistance in unusual times and places. Today I wish to share how I experienced peace on this Therapeutic Thursday.
1. I’m Alive Because He Lives: Matt Maher’s song Because He Lives played over the radio this morning on my drive to work. Here is the song’s refrain:
I’m alive, I’m alive
Because He lives
Let my song join the one that never ends
Because He lives
Focusing on these words over and over during my work commute, I realized that my anxiety is nothing compared to the fact that Christ conquered death. When I unite my song to the eternal song of the Gospel life will flourish within me. Why do I suffer from anxiety weekly—some weeks almost daily? The answer is my failure to trust in the Providence of my Father. I’m alive because He lives!
2. Signs at Work: Our Father is so provident that in addition to Matt Maher’s words of truth, I realized signs of God’s goodness at my workplace. How do I truly know God’s signs were at work? Peace. One of the more simple and constant pieces of evidence for God’s work in our life is a sense of true peace. We had our monthly recognition meeting this morning. It seems silly but I always get nervous right before this meeting. It is in large part to my struggle with pride. I prideful hope I get recognized for my great work by my manager in front of the entire department. When it does not happen I get a sense of defeat. Well, I actually did not feel that way during today’s meeting. I did not get the monthly manager team shout out. I was oddly at peace. Later in the meeting our department played a team-building game. Little signs from God like the game gave me peace of mind.
3. Consoling Counselor: The advice I received from my counselor to utilize in stressful situations abetted my anxiety and worrisome mindset this morning. He told me to pause and do some slow breathing exercises when an anxious situation arises. I did that today before our departmental meeting. It helped. Our Heavenly Father knew that humanity struggles with worry. So before Jesus ascended into heaven a promise of a Consoler was given. Jesus’ Apostles questioned him about the next steps of their faith journey after he would ascend. He replied with the following words, “But you will receive power when the holy Spirit comes upon you,g and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, throughout Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth” (Acts 1:8 NAB). Growing up, I commonly overlooked the role of the Holy Spirit. In the past few months, my relationship was the Divine Consoling Counselor has grown and deepened. I am continuing to learn to relay on the power of the Holy Spirit through the actions of others to help heal and comfort me.
Social media has promoted a lot of aficionados for alcoholic alliteration by referring to Thursday as Thirsty Thursday. While moderate drinking of beer, wine, or ale is not inherently bad, reliance on things to drown out our worry will not solve the problem on a long-term basis. Therapeutic relief from stress by our Consoling Counselor is lasting because God last forever. I hope I may continue to drink from the spiritual wellspring to acquire peace, joy, and thanksgiving before the Holy Trinity. You are never too far gone to ask others and God for help!
This summer my wife and I celebrate our seventh wedding anniversary! In honor of this event, I figured I would dedicate a post to our marriage. I also want to highlight the positive effects the sacrament of marriage has on society and why I believe the sacrament of matrimony is vital to a salubrious society. Along with our own marriage celebration, I want to personally recognize my cousin’s testament to the married life. He got married to his bride this past weekend. I present 4 reasons why the sacrament instituted by God is necessary for a healthy society.
1. Unity in Diversity: The four marks [i.e. defining characteristics] of the Catholic Church according to the Nicene Creed is that it is one, holy, catholic, and apostolic. Each of those traits are found within the sacrament of marriage as well. I will highlight the qualities of the oneness [unity] and catholic [universality] within this sacrament. Men and women are different. Differences are not bad. True equality is not to reduce men and women to be the same in every single aspect of life. Rather, true equality is in reference to equality of respect and dignity for how spouses treat each other. From my own personal experiences, I look to my parent’s marriage as an example of unity found within a diverse relationship. My mother and father come from completely different backgrounds. My dad’s family lacks divorce and has long life spans. On the contrary, my mom’s family exhibited more turmoil as her dad passed away when she was only 12 years old and her sibling relationships are splintered. Men and women communicate differently. By embracing such diversity a unity may be found.
I think somehow this diversity between a man and woman in the Mystery of the sacrament of marriage has been lost in our culture. Not everything in marriage needs to be reduced to sameness between the spouses. If that happens a little bit of the Mystery may disappear. I am meant to explore and learn about my wife on a daily basis. I am not meant to have her completely conform to my image or me to her image. Diversity leads to unity.
To sum up this point I refer to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, “The love of the spouses requires, of its very nature, the unity and indissolubility of the spouses’ community of persons, which embraces their entire life: “so they are no longer two, but one flesh.”153 They “are called to grow continually in their communion through day-to-day fidelity to their marriage promise of total mutual self-giving.”154” (CCC 1644).
2. Full of Fruits: According to the words of Jesus in Luke 6:43-45,
A good tree does not bear rotten fruit, nor does a rotten tree bear good fruit. 44For every tree is known by its own fruit. For people do not pick figs from thornbushes, nor do they gather grapes from brambles. 45A good person out of the store of goodness in his heart produces good, but an evil person out of a store of evil produces evil; for from the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks.
The same may can be said about the sacrament of marriage. Before I continue, I do want to distinguish between different kinds of fruits: physical and spiritual fruits. I will highlight the spiritual fruits marriage offers society later on. For now, I want to focus on the fruit of children in the sacrament of marriage. The Catholic Church leaves the married couple the freedom to elect how many children they want to have. But it is important to note that openness to fertility is essential for an authentic Christian marriage. The Church states,“By its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory” (CCC 1652).
Children are a gift from God, not a product for married couples to control or purchase. I think a renewed sense of children as gifts would go miles to infuse society with a new mentality that is other-centered instead of self-centered. Admitting, I too sometimes struggle to make my children in my own image and control their daily activities. I more than anyone else needs to be reminded that God gifted me with children and I am to thank Him by raising them to be gifts for all of society as well!
Society grows through the family unit. Ultimate long-term success for society hinges on families that practice sacrificial love instead of self-love.
3. Use the Force: A certain power is found in permanency. Things that last long periods of time seem to gather a force and power as they age. The best example I think of is the sacrament of marriage. My grandparents recently celebrated 67 years of marriage earlier this month! You heard me: 67 years! Feeble knees, dimmed hearing, and other ailments that go with advanced years do not diminish the power and force my grandparent’s marriage hold. Whenever I tell a random stranger, friend or co-worker the length of their marriage there is always a momentous pause…then a statement of awe and wonder will always follow. My grandparent’s marriage is not successful because they are amazing. It is successful because they rely on God to help them forgive each other. My cousins’ new father-in-law gave pithy, but profound advise to the new married couple from this weekend, [after telling my cousin and his wife to sit close together] “See that little space between you. Always be sure to include the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit and have them
fill that space. Everything else will work out, maybe not necessarily the way you think it will, but everything will work out!”
It is only through a sacramental marriage that married couples are about to use the force…the force of our Triune God!
4. Victory through Virtues: Authentic victory is to be achieved not through military might or political prowess, but rather through personal virtue. Having virtuous and charitable citizens are the only way for society to be renewed and remain healthy. While children are the more visible of the fruits of marriage, I maintain that the more universal fruit of sacramental marriages is virtue. Not every married couple is able to conceive a child. Such marriages are not to be held as less holy or effective as couple that has children. In fact, the number of children is not to be correlated with an increase [or decrease] in holiness.
It is through my experience that the longer a couple is married and the more they tend to remind themselves that marriage is a sacrament that greater virtue abound. Patience, kindness, gentleness, joy, and gratitude are just some of the many virtues I notice in my
parents, grandparents, and even my own marriage [when I embrace the sacrament]. Societies that tend to have citizens who exhibit virtues and charity towards others, I have noticed, tend to be more unified and healthy.
On a closing note, I want to make sure I am clear that people who participate in sacramental marriages are NOT better nor more holy than single people or priests. What I want to stress is that marriage along with being a sacrament [visible sign from God] is not a right, but a gift. Not everyone is called to be married! And that is okay. Diversity of vocations: married state, single state, and ordained state all contribute to a healthy and holy society!
During a recent training seminar at my job, we took a test to determine our social style. To no surprise, I landed almost exclusively in the category of a thinker social style. Simply put, as a thinker I tend to enjoy viewing the entire process and need time to go over changes in my mind. I also tend to ask lots of clarifying questions. Along with my thinker social style I am also a director—a person who tends to be results oriented and a problem solver. I bring my social style up, well in large part because as a thinker I am compelled to provide a little background to my current situation!
I am 29 years old and my birthday is at the end of July. In the twilight of my twenties, I have pondered what things I hope to achieve and spend time doing in the final month of my roaring twenties. I tend to get grandiose in my goals, but having three young kids and a full-time job will limit some of my bucket list items. For the sake of my sanity and simplicity’s sake here are three things I want to continue to accomplish before I turn 30 and continue to work on after I hit this momentous birthday.
1. Improve as a Husband and Father: The majority of my time in the twenties I spent as a husband and father. I got married at age 22 and had our first son when I was 23. Sadly, I have failed in many respects in both vocations. Early in my marriage and fatherhood, I struggled with anger and losing patience. I have improved. Yet, I hope to make marked strides as I cross the fine line of my race to thirty and begin a new marathon toward forty years old! Yesterday, I had a great day with my kids. Today I am spending exclusive and quality time with my oldest son. There is hope on the husbandly horizon.
2. Wordsmithing: Words cannot describe my passion and thrill for writing. I will try my best to capture this feeling I have about wordsmithing. There is something cathartic and healing about sitting down at the keyboard or with pen in hand and getting my thoughts out in the open. I have experienced closeness to the promptings of the Holy Spirit through my weekly writing for this blog. I want to continue to share my joys and struggles in my faith to help others discover the work of the Holy Trinity in their lives as well.
3. Run Barry Run: Running has always played a large role in my life. During high school I participated in cross country and track. I cherish the memories I made with my teammates during our practice and race-day runs. I often recall the people I met through those experiences. After a brief hiatus from running during my early twenties, I recently started training for a half-marathon and completed a 10 mile run in April. What brought me the most joy what that I was able to run with my brother and sister for the first time ever! Secondly, my favorite T.V. show The Flash [based on my favorite superhero Barry Allen- aka The Flash!] has a major theme of running and endurance in difficult times. I hope to continue to train for a half-marathon in the waning days as a twenty-nine year old and make new friendships through racing as I enter my thirties. To my wife’s potential chagrin I hope to continue to read as many The Flash comic books as possible going into my thirties as well!
We all have hopes, goals, and dreams. Sometimes it takes milestone occasions—like my thirtieth birthday— to jumpstart motivation to pursue our life-dreams. My goal in the upcoming months is continue to foster my family relationships, write, and run. I hope that whenever and wherever you are in your life that you do not hesitate to follow your dreams!
Emotions ran high in my family yesterday. I struggled with a stressful situation at work and my son fell off his bike and scrapes his knee—a meltdown ensued. Feelings are part of the fabric of what it means to be human. I am not proud to admit this, but I have greatly failed in keeping my feeling in check during the past couple weeks.
On my drove to work this morning, words from a Christian song over the radio jogged a thought I had about prayer and our communication of God. I pondered how natural it is for humanity to complain when things do not go your way. How do we overcome the sin of complaining? Listening to the song lyrics I realized the answer is incredibly simple—cry out to God!
Using examples from the Scriptures, excerpts from St. John of the Cross’ Dark Night of the Soul, and my own personal experiences I give 4 reasons why “crying out to God” is not complaining but rather an essential part of the spiritual life.
1. Lesson from Lamentations: Latent within the Old Testament, Lamentations is not among the first books that pop into my mind for having spiritual insight. I usually think of Proverbs or the Book of Wisdom. Lamentations is a collection of five poems that act as a woeful reply to the destruction of Jerusalem in 587 B.C. Both individual and communal prayers of sorrow are found in this book. For my purposes today I will only focus on Lamentations 3:19-31 which contains an individual lament.
The thought of my wretched homelessness is wormwood and poison; 20Remembering it over and over, my soul is downcast.21But this I will call to mind— therefore I will hope: 22The LORD’s acts of mercy are not exhausted, his compassion is not spent. 23They are renewed each morning—great is your faithfulness! 24The LORD is my portion, I tell myself, therefore I will hope in him. 25The LORD is good to those who trust in him, to the one that seeks him; 26It is good to hope in silence for the LORD’s deliverance. 27It is good for a person, when young, to bear the yoke, 28To sit alone and in silence, when its weight lies heavy, 29To put one’s mouth in the dust— there may yet be hope—30 To offer one’s cheek to be struck, to be filled with disgrace. 31For the Lord does not reject forever.
The inspired writer of Lamentations speaks directly to me in this passage. His words, “Over and over, my soul is downcast,” calls to mind my state of mind and relationship with God over the past several weeks. I was downtrodden and I frequently wanted to give up. Interestingly enough, I actually pondered the fact that there is a glimmer of hope in my situation. The writer of Lamentations is prophetic again when he states, “I tell myself, therefore I will hope in him. 25The LORD is good to those who trust in him, to the one that seeks him; 26It is good to hope in silence for the LORD’s deliverance.”
2. Psalm 22: According to Mark 15:34, Jesus cries out to the Father in similar fashion as the book of Lamentations and myself when I encounter the stresses of life. The evangelist writes, “And at three o’clock Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?”* which is translated, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” These words used to befuddle me. I have since learned that Jesus was invoking the psalmist’s lamenting words in Psalm 22. The psalm begins as a sorrowful prayer to God but similar to Lamentations 3 it ends with hope [see Psalm 22:23-32]. Reading these words, the Holy Spirit connected the dots for me on this subject. Verse 30 references homage toward God on bended knee and I already was planning on talking about how lament leads to kneeling before God even before I read Psalm 22!! The movement of the Holy Spirit is mysterious yet true.
3. Dark Night of a Soul: St John of the Cross was a great mystic of the Catholic Church during the 16th century. His spiritual work Dark Night of the Soul is as relevant today as it was when it was originally written. I will only focus on the dark night of the purgation of our senses and tie it to the theme of crying out towards God. The major characteristic of this dark night is the soul finding no pleasure or consolation in the things of God. I find myself occasionally in a “spiritual rut” where I do not receive consolation or experience direct joy from God. St. John tells us to not worry, “It is well for those who find themselves in this condition to take comfort, to persevere in patience and to be in no wise afflicted. Let them trust in God, Who abandons not those that seek Him with a simple and right heart, and will not fail to give them what is needful for the road, until He bring them into the clear and pure light of love” (Chapter X no 3).
Sounding similar to the writer of Lamentations, John of the Cross, reassures us that for growth to occur in the spiritual life a certain period of purgation is necessary to increase our holiness and awareness of God.
4. Skinned Up Knees Leads to On Bended Knee: This week my wife and I added training wheels to our son’s bicycle and we being teaching him the quintessential summer experience of riding his first bike! We taught him the fundamentals of pedaling and coaxing him when he got frustrated because they were “too heavy”. Things were going well. He gained momentum and cruised on our neighbor sidewalk for about 50 feet. Suddenly he hit a raised section of the sidewalk and toppled off his bike. Tears immediately streamed down his face. My wife added a Band-Aid and after a few minutes of reassurance had him get back on the bike to try again.
How does this common childhood experience relate to the spiritual life? Oftentimes we get metaphorical “skinned up knees”. Gossip in the workplace or stressful family events damage our relationship with God. True growth is not without pain—both in learning to ride a bike and deepening our spiritual life. Having undergone lots of skinned up knees in learning to ride my bike it makes it easier for me to be on bended knee in prayer to thank God for going through the school of trials to learn more about Him.
The difference between complaining and lamenting is the former lacks the virtue of hope. Complaining is more self-centered in orientations whereas prayers of lament focuses communication with our Divine Creator. Do not be ashamed to cry out to God, but remember that while it is a necessary step in the spiritual process– it is only the beginning. May we always ask the Holy Spirit to lead us toward prayers of thanksgiving after a season of lament!