Toy Cars, Farewells, and Door Knockings

Originally published 09/01/2017


Concluding a fast-paced morning at work, I headed to the lunch area to heat up my lunch. Famished and tired from the busyness of the day, I reached into my pocket for my cell phone to call my wife. Instead, I pulled out a green hot wheels car named Ballistik— I forgot to send this toy with my youngest son when I dropped him off at daycare this morning.  Not being able to reach of my wife, my thoughts wondered as I waited for my macaroni and cheese to cool down.

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The mind is an interesting place. It is the gathering place of ideas, thoughts, dreams, concerns and sorrows. Today, my mind meandered about my son’s early childhood therapy he started receiving at the beginning of August.  The plastic toy car reminded me of the immense strides that he has made toward improvement on his developmental delays. My son is a joy of my life. His high pitched giggles and funny mannerisms infuse life into me daily. I was experiencing a brain barricade when it came to writing. I lacked motivation, inspiration, and endurance to pen my thoughts.  Toy cars, farewells, and door knockings unexpectedly lifted me out of my stupor.

Playing with Toy Cars

Infants typically begin playing with toys around 5-6 months. My son was a unique case as he only played with toys cylindrical or round in nature. He has a fascination with circles—currently he goes into our bathroom and nearly dives headfirst into the empty tub looking for the round drain cover! Don’t worry. I made sure to disinfect it in time.

My child has idiosyncratic interests that make him a distinct, and cute, individual. To get back to the topic of toy cars, the reason why it is significant is that this past week was the first time I captured him playing with cars. He played with them as toys instead of flipping them to look at their circular wheels or chucking them in the kitchen! Progress is visible.

As a father of a child with autism [my oldest son was diagnosed a couple years ago], I noticed hints of autism spectrum disorder with my youngest. I want to give him the best tools to succeed in life and to improve his communication as well.

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Goodbyes Can be a Good Thing

Regarding, farewells my son was not able to communicate verbally during tantrums he banged his head against the ground. Since the start of his therapy, I have noticed a tremendous growth my son’s social-communication skills. Last week he waved good—bye for the first time. Since then, he has been waving to our daycare provider upon my picking him up. These seem like simple achievements, but to a parent of a child with a developmental delay I was overjoyed with my 18 month old’s budding skills!

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Knock and the Door will be Answered

Jesus tells us, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened” (Matthew 7:7-8).  Knocking on educational “doors” was a common experience that past few months as we sought after help for our son. Through the grace of God we got therapy to help him improve his communication. Continual asking for help was a sign of our hope in the Lord to provide for our child in need. Patience and persistence bore fruit in the form of my son knocking on doors recently. His tiny knuckles clinking the side of a front door was one of the most beautiful sounds I heard this week.

If you are experiencing a stressful situation with anxiety or struggle with communication the best way is to continue ask for help. Ask professionals, your friends, and ultimately God for help. It will take time, but do not be alarmed—help will always find those seeking aid and refuge from worry!

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***For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened***

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432 Hz, Monkey Bars, and Visiting the Farm: The Miraculous April Weekend

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C.S. Lewis wrote in his work Miracles, “Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.” This weekend I experienced the miraculous in the seemingly mundane. Before I go into detail, I need to provide a little background on my family’s situation. My youngest child who is two years old was recently diagnosed on with mild to severe autism spectrum disorder. Working with local educational and developmental professional he receives occupational, developmental, and speech therapies. Daily life is difficult for typical toddlers, but my son’s trials some days are compounded due to his cognitive delays.

The perfectionist in me seeks the attainable and perfection. However, I took up a new motto when it came to parenting and teaching my youngest son: Practice makes progress. Believe me practice does make progress. I am still fighting my perfectionist tendencies currently! Realistic goals provide a healthier home atmosphere than giving my children unattainable goals. Our two-year old had a breakthrough in his development—true progress displayed and his hard work in therapy paid off. Before we began developmental therapy, my son struggled to communicate his needs. As a result of his inability to properly convey his wants/needs he would bang his head on the ground when overcome with stress. Additionally, every single transition point over the course of the day involved intense meltdowns. While my son still struggles to transition smoothly from activity to activity, he is making progress.

Together with the diligent efforts my toddler and his teachers put into his therapies, my wife learned about the amazing power certain music/sounds that calm the mind. According to the German mathematician Gerhard Huisken, “music tuned to 432 Hz is softer and brighter, giving greater clarity and is easier on the ears. Many people experience more meditative and relaxing states of body and mind when listening to such music. The natural musical pitch of the universe gives a more harmonic and pleasant sound than 440 Hz” (cited from https://attunedvibrations.com/432hz/). I took my three children to the playground this past Saturday. Here I utilized the power of 432 Hz.

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Cabin fever took over my household over the long and drawn out winter of 2017-2018. Outside time was an activity that the doctor ordered! Along with ambling up the stairs and going down the slide by himself—and actually enjoying it—my toddler transitioned well from leaving the park back to the car. Normally, if I placed him in the stroller, wiggling, screaming, and flaying would ensue. What did I do differently this time? I downloaded a 432 Hz player app on my smartphone and played sounds with that frequency as I placed him in the stroller? Almost instantly, the power-struggle ceased. Is this a magic cure? Certainly not, however, the discovery of using 432 Hz frequency is a miracle as my wife and I found another strategy for our educational toolbox to help our child out with his development.

Along with a healthy dose of outdoor time and changing the frequency, we celebrated my godson’s First Communion. After Mass, we traveled to my aunt and uncle’s house for lunch. In the past, we discovered that new scenes oftentimes disrupted our son’s routine. Any sudden change within his daily habits nearly leads to intense meltdowns.  Prepped for an apocalyptic afternoon [at least on the car ride home] my wife and I were pleasantly surprised and quite proud that our toddler had a fun and major meltdown free Sunday. Gamboling in the vast outside spaces, frequently visiting my cousins’ parakeets, discovering hay-bales,  and playing Legos with his siblings and cousins provided plenty of chances for our son to exercise some independence in a new environment.

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My family truly experienced the miraculous in the final weekend of April. Aside from the Mass, as Catholics  weekly partake of the miracle of transubstantiation–mere elements of bread and wine  having the substance changed into the “body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus Christ” while retaining the appearances of mere bread and wine, we experienced the miraculous in the form of hope in ordinary living.  C.S. Lewis stated, “If miracles were offered us as events that normally occurred, then the progress of science, whose business is to tell us what occurs, would render belief in them gradually harder and finally impossible” (Miracles, p. 75).

Science certainly has the ability to explain why 432 Hz is the preferred frequency, describe the development of farmland, and inform us how exercise on playground sets provide health benefits to children. However, the amazing part of our weekend was being surprised by the progress our two-year displayed. Albert Einstein once said, “There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.” Which way do you prefer to live? Finding the miraculous in ordinary living is both a challenge and a joy!

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“and they were astonished at his teaching because he spoke with authority” –Luke 4:32

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Crossroads

“All Christianity concentrates on the man at the crossroads,” wrote G.K. Chesterton. I came across this quote earlier this week as I read Orthodoxy. Immediately, I picked up my mechanical pencil off the living room floor and underlined this concise, but brilliant message. As a former cross country runner, street intersections always remind me of the choice I had as a runner. Which path should I take? Do I take the easy and high trafficked path [normally I feel motivated by an audience of automobile drivers on the busier streets to help me continue to run] or do I take the road less traveled? Little did I realize how Chesterton’s statement would be actualized in my life. Less than a day after reading that passage, I arrived at a junction.

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Some brief background is needed as I believe God has prepared me for this moment for a while now. My youngest child was evaluated by early childhood developmental professionals and diagnosed with some learning and cognitive disabilities. Along with this challenge my wife started a new teaching job. Bills seem to continually pile up with little end in sight [at least immediate end]. Over the past few months I struggled with anxiety and my vocation in this world. I knew that I was meant to be a husband and father, but sometimes I felt like I needed to do more, to be something more, and to provide more light to this world.

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Counseling sessions and anxiety medication help me cope with the daily stresses of this ever-changing and chaotic world. Thankfully, my son was approved to receive weekly special education services to assist him in limiting his incredible tantrums and frustration levels [he was at a point where he started banging his head against the ground and hurt himself!] and increasing his ability to socialize and communicate. Small gains are being made, yet he has a long road ahead.

Together with counseling and medicine, listening to Christian music daily and reading literary Catholic giants like Chesterton and Tolkien provide me with relief when self-doubt and despair assault me. In the weeks preceding  my crossroads experience I had yesterday.  “All Christianity concentrates on the man at the crossroads.”

Talking with my manager during our weekly meeting, I looked for feedback on a new company position I was interested in. “Why did you apply for this position?” he asked. I replied, “The creative aspect and the possibility to increase my writing skills.” He continued to press on as to why exactly I enjoyed writing and advised that my career is what I choose to make of it. As a person who struggled [I guess still struggles] with OCD, I tend to like to view the world as black and white; either/or; through an if/then lens. I tried to get my manager to make the choice for me on my next path. “Where do you see yourself [career wise] in the next few years?” he asked.

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There are a few moments in life where you experience a profound clarity. Almost eerily clear. The best example I remember is when I started dating my [then future] wife in college. A mere month into dating I got a sense that I was meant to marry this girl. I heard a voice in my mind saying, “Matt you are going to marry her!” Yesterday’s conversation with my manager produced a similar lucidity of thought. “What do you want to do with your career Matt?” I responded [in my head] almost immediately, “A writer, I want to be a writer and spread the Catholic faith!!” Outside of my mind, I replied to my manager, “Well, you know I am not completely sure…” I continued to make general statements about how I enjoyed writing and about becoming a stay-at-home father to assist with my son with special needs.

Why do we shy away from God’s clear direction at a “crossroad moment” of our life? Personally, I struggle with the notion that such clear moments exist. Clarity in this chaotic world is bold. Truth is daring. As Chesterton put it, “Life [according to the faith] is very much like a serial story in a magazine: life ends with a promise (or menace)…But the point is that a story is exciting because it has in it so strong an element of will, of what theology calls free will” (Orthodoxy p. 128).  Sometimes I wish there was a pre-determined path laid out for me. In some ways, lacking freedom is less stressful. But such mentality stems from the Evil One and leads to doubt in God’s providential plan for us. It seems crazy that I am so sure that I am called to be a Catholic writer. Looking back on my life, I had the exact same doubt when I dated my wife. I thought, “It is not possible to be so certain about marrying so short in the dating process!” Marrying my wife, my best helpmate toward Heaven, was [and is] in God’s plan.

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“All Christianity concentrates on the man at the crossroads.” I sincerely hope that I am able be an instrument of God help bring peace and clarity to people who suffer periods of doubt and confusion. Thank you for reading and continue to pray for me to follow God’s path!

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