From Darkness to Joy: A Catholic Story about Communication and Autism

It was a Wednesday afternoon…I pushed open the door…

This moment was worth more than all the sales I made the past few months. 

It was worth more than my weight in gold. 

To see my child work through (via play) a parable during CGS and have him gain an understanding of the main message is incredible. 

Josiah’s Journey

An older picture showing Josiah and his sister acting out Good Friday. ✝️ 🙏

He was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder when he was 18 months (thankfully we had the benefit of going through the diagnosis process with his older brother a couple years earlier). 

Communication was tough for him. His brain worked differently. He couldn’t tell my wife and I about his basic needs and this led to many meltdowns a day and even banging his head on the ground in frustration. 

Reflecting on this journey I am brought to tears with how amazing God is and the awesome gifts he blessings he gave my son and family via therapy, social support, and comfort through the saints. 

For a while, I was thinking my son wouldn’t be able to ever verbalize his love for my wife and I. My heart goes out to any parent and children struggling with not being able to communicate verbally. 

An Experience More Precious Than Gold

When I opened the door to his Wednesday Atrium session and saw my son acting out the parable of the Good Samaritan it was a moment etched into my heart forever. 

This is one (of many) reason why I continued to help him grow in learning how to communicate daily. 

🗨️ Weekly speech and occupational therapy sessions.

📈 Meetings to go over his IEP goals

🙏 Daily (sometimes 2-3 times) conversations between my wife and I about his progress, backsliding, and new process

Always trying new things.

Finding different sensory tools and educational resources to help him grown and to speak.

I’m currently in the middle of another growing season (trying to launch a neighborhood Catholic magazine in my city). I’ve planted lots of seeds.

But it’s dark and silent. Lots of rejections. I felt like giving up (similar to how I felt years ago when I didn’t see growth in my son’s verbal communication). 

Feelings aren’t full reality. 

Sure emotions are part of what makes us human. 

The Enemy wants us to be discouraged in the silence and in the midst of “NOs”. 

God always cares for you

Sometimes the best growth occurs in the silence and darkness. 

Jesus said, “Amen, Amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies it produces much fruit” (John 12:24). 

Death and growth are the same (and different depending on your vantage point). You cannot bear fruit unless you die to your own control and desires. Total surrender to God must happen. 

Today, I renew my pledge to trust confidently in God during this Dark Night. 

P.S. This post didn’t employ the use of AI. 🤖

It was written entirely by a human named Matthew in the presence of Jesus Christ in Eucharistic Adoration on Thursday January 18, 2024. 🍞🍷☀️

One could say I sought out the assistance of a Divine Intelligence. 🙂

Thank you for sharing!

How to Roundhouse Kick My Daily Precipitation of Precipitateness


Editor’s Note: This post originally published on July 19, 2017.


Joseph Pieper, a 20th century German Catholic philosopher, wrote in Happiness and Contemplation,

Repose, leisure, peace, belong among the elements of happiness. If we have not escaped from harried rush, from mad pursuit, from unrest, from the necessity of care, we are not [fully] happy. And what of contemplation? Its very premise is freedom from the fetters of workaday busyness.

I think every person needs to be daily reminded of this message. It seems that lately I have been encountering a flood of fleetingness. Craziness abounds in both my work and home—demands piles up both from company leadership and my children.

Instead of me thriving and managing the stresses of daily routine, life has become a panicked response to these hurried stimuli. I wish there is some why for me to fight these stresses. Sometimes I wish this precipitation of precipitateness could manifest itself in a physical form so I could perform an epic beat down on it.

My wife recently started kick-boxing for her morning exercise routine—so please do not think I am always a violent person! Would it not be nice to pull a Chuck Norris and roundhouse kick stress, busyness, and hurriedness into oblivion?

Although it may be a pipe-dream to pull that off this donnybrook on stress literally, there are a few tips I have learned from my Catholic faith, my counseling sessions, and through my own life experience that help me stave off the burdens of busyness.

Present Before the Greatest Presence

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church number 1323, “The Eucharist is “the source and summit of the Christian life.”136 “The other sacraments, and indeed all ecclesiastical ministries and works of the apostolate, are bound up with the Eucharist and are oriented toward it.” Oftentimes I fall into the trap of citing official church documents in hopes of slamming the door on any possible counter-argument to the truth. I have recently learned the errors in my line of thought. Great, I cited the official teaching of the Catholic Church on the sacrament of the Eucharist. But what exactly does this mean for me on an individual level. Do I experience any sort of change or transformation through my encounter with this divine presence?

I wish that I could provide you with an answer to all possible questions on this topic. But to be honest, I would only be kidding myself and I would fall short. I would be an inadequate emissary for the Catholic Church. For more information on rational arguments for belief in the Real Presence in the Eucharist please refer to 3 Reasons Why Critically Reading John 6 Will Convert Protestants.

What I can provide is my perspective, despite the fact that it is limited. I am actually most at peace in this life when I sit quiet before the sacrament of the Eucharist in Adoration. As a Catholic, I truly believe that during the Mass the bread and wine is transformed into the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit. Communicating with God through the form of the Blessed Sacrament is where I am most at peace. Sacraments are visible signs of an invisible reality.

eucharist.jpg

The Sacraments Help Limit Stress

The second place I am most at peace is when I make myself vulnerable to my wife and share my dreams, fears, and worries to her. In the sacrament of marriage the love of God is made manifest in the exchange of a husband and wife [I rely on this type of presence of God more frequently than the Eucharist simply because it is more readily available].

Jesus never stressed about the busyness of this world. Even when he heard the terrible news of his close friend’s Lazarus dying Jesus never hurried. In reply to the concerned words of Lazarus’ sisters Christ calmly states in John 11:4, “This illness is not to end in death,* but is for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” Perhaps the worries and stresses God allows in my life was a preparation for his glory and display of mastery of them later in time. Through the sacraments I acquire calmness of mind and heart.

john 11.jpg

Cudgeling through Communication

How do you handle stressful situations? This was an interview question a prospective employer once asked me. I paused for a couple moments to collect my thoughts. I then provided two simple ways: communication and patience. As I stated above, I increase my patience through the graces I receive in the sacraments. Regarding communication, I have worked to consciously improve the manner and tone by which I rely on information both at work and at home.

What I have found out is that clearly and concisely conveying information is a surefire way to mitigate or defeat stressful situations. My counselor at my appointment today advised me to take a different perspective [i.e. try to see things from my manager’s vantage point] before I react and communicate something in a stressful event.

Perfectionists are not Perfect

Something I struggle with frequently is my tendency toward perfection. I have always been a perfectionist and an idealist. A large part of this may be due to my OCD inclinations and strong desire to have things in a straightforwardly organized manner. I want things to be predictable. There is an internal conflict within myself over desiring control over situations. Thankfully God gave me the gift of marriage as a means in seeing a different perspective through my wife. By her example, I have slowly [hopefully surely!] worked toward a balanced approach to the stressful situations in life. Perfectionists are not perfect. We seek to attain it daily, but we will always fall short.

perfectionist.png

Does that mean I need to lower my expectations or my standards? There is a question that I may have an answer to later in my life. What I do know is that I need to come to grips with the reality that humanity is fallen. Perfection is not to be fully attained in this life—it is hinted at through the holy witness of the saints and the life of Jesus Christ!

Related Links

3 Incredibly Simple Tactics Guaranteed to Defeat Stress Daily

7 Ways to Shield Yourself against Anxiety!

Devotion to St. Martha Eases Anxiety


P.S. Congratulations for reaching the end of this article (or maybe you skimmed😊 ). **plays fanfare on silver trumpet🎺 **

If you enjoyed learning about tips to roundhouse kick stress away become an email subscriber. Enter your email address in the Subscribe to Blog Via Email box and hit the Subscribe button. It’s that easy! Soon you will be receiving cool Catholic content in your inbox.

Thank you for sharing!

The Best Weapon Against the Unexpected

Communication is key
Captain Picard has it right!

Unexpected things are the greatest destroyer of consistency.

But life isn’t wrapped up in a neat bow.

It’s messy. Unpredictable. Less than ideal.

It took me a while to understand perfection wasn’t possible.

But you know the best weapon against stress and inconsistencies at work is?

Communication.

Excellent communication between boss and employees and coworkers is the single best way to defeat employee burnout.

It seems so simple yet why don’t more companies do this?

Because communication requires empathy, organization, and teamwork— and that’s not always easy (especially if you aren’t hiring the right sort of people).

Excellent communication also improves your mental health.

Would love to get your thoughts on this topic!

How important is communication in battling unexpected things?

Drop your comments ⤵️

Thank you for sharing!

Communication is the Most Important Life Skill

Communication is the most important skill.

It’s the root of every other ability needed to succeed in life and business.

I love the written word.

But over the years I’ve learned the value of improving verbal communication skills.

Communication is key

My Communication Journey

Working at Wells Fargo in the mortgage and student loan departments helped me develop my ability to listen and tailor my message to customers in various financial situations.

In 2016, my son Josiah was born. He was our rainbow baby (after Jeremiah died in 2015). Josiah was diagnosed with autism in 2017. He has been in speech and occupational therapy ever since.

In home and out patient therapy has taught me how I took for granted my ability to communicate.

My son went from 20+ meltdowns a day and self harm because he couldn’t tell me his needs to talking in full sentences.

Examples of his recent success:

  • Learning the blended sound of “st” he used to call my brother Uncle Teven
  • Telling me precise things he wanted: “I want to go to Arrowhead Park and watch duckies with Avila.”
  • Being creative: “Dad, let’s be excavators and dig!”

Communication is a need not a preference.

What’s your “communication journey” look like?

Related Links

Communication Hack—Tailor Your Message to Your Audience

A Humble Hue: My Story about Autism

Thank you for sharing!

Communication— the Key to Success

💡Communication is the most essential skill to learn for success in life.

It’s a skill that everyone can learn to improve no matter your age.

My kids have special needs (sons diagnosed with autism-a social/communication disorder) and my older daughter has partial hearing loss.

I’ve had to adapt:

✨ Learn sign language

✨ Advocate for special education services

✨ Take my son to therapy sessions

Today this little girl starts speech therapy!

Yesterday she had a hearing screen done at school for the deaf (we wanted to rule out that her ears weren’t an issue for the speech delay).

At one time I contemplated being a speech pathologist.

💬 Communication is my passion and I love learning new ways to help others.

My experiences helping my kids communication delays helped me improve my ability to tailor message to my audience (writing) and my employees as an assistant manager at a grocery store.

❓How have you improved your communication skills?

#writing #communication #speechtherapy

Thank you for sharing!

The Power of Listening

Listen

Listen to understand not to reply. 🤯

It’s not a mind blowing truth.

But the way some companies treat customers and employees it would be information to shatter their worldview.

Silence is something dearly missed in regular routine.

Here are a few tips to improve your ability to listen and limit ‘noise’

🔶Set aside one day of the week to rest.

Sunday is a great day to pause from work.

Go to church or use it for family time.

🔷 Take micro-breaks during the work day

Strategic 2-3 minute breaks to get water or step away from a stressful situation will do wonders for your perspective.

🔶 Be intentional with regular prayer or meditation

My family started praying one decade of the Rosary a night.

It only takes 5-7 minutes but I find myself much calmer (and who doesn’t want to have more peace before going to sleep).

Silent time leads to an improved ability to listen.

❓What would be a fourth tip to add to create more silence in your day?

Share your thoughts 👇

Related Links

The Importance of Listening, and Ways to Improve Your Own Skills

5 Ways To Improve Your Listening Skills

Thank you for sharing!

Communication Hack—Tailor Your Message to Your Audience

Communication

Everyone learns and communications differently. Changing how you talk with others will be the difference between a positive or a negative experience.

Everyone learns and passes on information in different ways

You may be a thinker, director, socializer, or empathetic worker.

Or even a combination of those communication styles.

🤔I am more of a thinker. I need to understand the process step by step.

Clarity and accuracy are prioritized over speed or small talk.

🗣Directors—I know I need to talk faster and limit my explanations to a high level.

😃Socializers— it’s important to chat about the topic they are talking about.

❤️ Empathetizers—discuss feelings more so be open to utilize that type of language when interacting with empaths.

❓Which of the four communication styles fits you best?

❓How have you tailored your communication to someone with a different communication style?

Share in the comments below?

Thank you for sharing!