Domestic Church

A 1045 Word Interview with the Carmelite Homemaker

/ chicoinematt

Editor’s Note: Matthew Chicoine interviewed Cecelia Allen via phone call on March 26th, 2025. Some of the questions have been rearranged and edited to provide the best reader experience without losing any integrity of the answers given.

You spent nearly a year in a Carmelite monastery before discerning a different path. Can you share more about that spiritual journey and how you recognized God’s call shifting in your life?

I started discerning religious life when I was little. I first wrote to the monastery when I was 14. Because they were cloistered I couldn’t visit, but when I was 16 I was able to stay in their guest room. I entered the monastery when I was 19 and felt a tug towards throughout High school. Eight months after I entered, I started feeling a tug towards some type of ministry, a more active service or retreat ministry. At first I thought this was another phase in the adjustment of contemplative life. I continued to feel this draw towards more active ministry. I really struggled to leave because I loved all aspects of that. I was given this advice by a priest, “to discern where you find peace.” When I left the monastery I felt peace but I still miss it. 

When I left that cloistered community I was thinking of joining another religious community. I realized that such women’s communities were either cloistered or very active in teaching 8 hours a day. 

I learned through the call to marriage that I could make my home a cloister, a type of miniature contemplative community. 

What was the most profound lesson you learned during your time in the monastery that continues to shape your life today?

Living the liturgical year. Being at the monastery when you are praying to the Divine Office your whole existence is centered on the liturgy. While I have been Catholic my whole life and received great catechesis, when I was at the monastery, it felt like it was my first Christmas as a Catholic. This was because Advent was such a profound time to prepare for Christ’s birth. It felt like Heavenly time where earthly time stopped and we entered more deeply into the life of Christ. 

You describe carrying “the little cloister” in your heart. How do you practically integrate Carmelite spirituality into your daily life as a homemaker? Are there specific practices, prayers, or rhythms you’ve adopted from monastic life?

I prioritize the Divine Office in my prayer life. I love the whole thing, but one hour I prioritize as a family is Night Prayer. Personally, I do enjoy Morning Prayer. 

St. Therese of Lisieux, a Carmelite saint, is known for her “little way” of finding holiness in ordinary moments. How do you see this spirituality manifesting in your role as a wife and homemaker? Could you share an example of how you’ve found extraordinary grace in seemingly mundane tasks?

Actually, it has been so amazing to study Carmelites from the perspective of a wife and mother. The more I study this spirituality, the more I realize it is applicable to our life in the world. Living in the presence of God undergirds all the Carmelite spirituality. I have been so encouraged by reading Teresa of Avila’s writings, The Way of Perfection, for everyone! This contemplative living is accessible for everyone. 

Carmelite spirituality emphasizes contemplation and interior life. In the midst of the busy responsibilities of home and marriage, how do you maintain a deep prayer life and sense of interior stillness?

That’s a good question, it’s definitely a work in progress. I have learned that in terms of maintaining a strong payer life it is not going to look like the days before. The other day I prayed the Divine Office but I was pacing up and down the hallway with my baby on my shoulder. Having that communication with your spouse to have them watch the kids while you pray is something I am working on. The big thing is accepting that prayer life isn’t the same as before marriage. 

For interior silence, I have Gregorian chant in the background playing. I used to think that silence, no background noise, was the way to draw into that interior silence. But I found that my mind wandered. When I have the chant playing in the background I am more drawn to focus on the silence. 

Your husband encouraged you to bring your Carmelite experience into your marriage. How has this unique spiritual background influenced your relationship?

I think it’s allowed me to see how a lot of people see religious life as the ultimate sacrifice. But having come from that religious life perspective I have become more aware of how marriage is also a vocation and a gift of yourself. The gift of totality in my marriage is something I learned, or became more aware of, due to my experience in the monastery. It’s that awareness our vocation (no matter which one you’re called to) is meant to stretch you to make you holy. 

Many young Catholics struggle with understanding their vocation. Having experienced both religious and married life, what wisdom can you share about discernment and listening to God’s call?

The biggest thing is to what the priest told me, “follow your peace.” If you are feeling a consistent tug towards religious life don’t be afraid to take action to pursue it. The postulant period (about the first year) is that time of discernment. Don’t be afraid to take the next step in discernment and don’t be afraid to discern out.

I realize that there’s two different tugs to marriage: the natural and the draw that’s indicative towards a vocation. And to ask God to help me discern the difference between the two. 

Who is your favorite Carmelite saint and why?

My favorite is Elizabeth of the Trinity because of her writings on living in the presence of God. Her main focus is the indwelling of the Trinity in our souls due to our Baptism and living in that presence always. I found this so accessible as a wife and mother. 

I also enjoy the work of John of the Cross and Terese of the Andes. Teresa of Avila and Therese of Lisieux would round out the top five (please don’t be mad at me!)

Where can my followers learn more about your ministry? 

I have a YouTube channel, Instagram profile and I have a blog. Links to these can be found at: Carmelite Homemaker.

About Cecelia: 

After discerning religious life in my high school years, I entered a Carmelite monastery when I was 19 years old. A year later, I discerned out, feeling called from the solitude of Carmel to some form of ministry. 

I am now a wife and mother, but my love for the monastery remains a deep part of who I am. I have made it my mission to bring the beauty of monastic life into my life in the world, and help others do the same.

Thank you for sharing!

One Simple Way to Instill the Catholic Faith in Your Home (Domestic Church)

/ chicoinematt
Family faith formation
Faith is fostered in the family.

Catholicism is an incarnational faith. It means we understand the body-soul relationship is supposed to be harmonious not disjointed.

One simple way this is shown on a daily basis is through holy art.

I have a Master’s degree in theology but I think some of the best witness of my faith to my kids is simply having holy art in the house and answering questions when they ask.

Below is my youngest daughter, Avila, holding a statue of Mary she took off our dresser.

Statues are signposts to the reality (saints and Jesus).

P.S. I know I have the cutest kid in the universe. 😊

P.S.S. How do you incorporate holy art into your domestic church?

Thank you for sharing!

5 Tips to Build Your Domestic Church when Time is Limited

/ chicoinematt / 4 Comments

Since the advent of the Internet an explosion of information has been accessible to a majority of the world. Social media and the invention of the smart phone only continued the ability to learn new information quicker and at an earlier age.

As a dad to four children I am both excited and terrified of the new advancements technology will afford humanity in the next few decades. Technology by itself is neutral. Its implementation can be used for good or evil. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraph 1656, “In our own time, in a world often alien and even hostile to faith, believing families are of primary importance as centers of living, radiant faith. For this reason the Second Vatican Council, using an ancient expression, calls the family the Ecclesia domestica (domestic church).” Faith starts in the home.

During the Baptismal rite, Catholic parents pledge to teach their children in the faith. In the minutes after the ceremony, it is easy for parents to feel empowered and emboldened by the Holy.  “Nothing can phase us. We has the power of the Holy Spirit guiding us (and our child)!” I thought as I held my oldest son after his Baptism. I felt invincible as a dad. It took less than a week for the Enemy to take advantage of my pride. Sending us temptation after temptation the Devil seeks to wear us down. His goal is to get us to a state of despair.

Life gets busy, messy, stressful, frustrating, hopeless at times, and tons of other inconveniences bombard us daily. It is definitely easy to lose sight and forget about the Baptismal vows we made before God and the Church. I struggle at least every month. On the worst months, I feel the strain almost daily. Recently, I switched to working the night shift. While this schedule has blessed me with the ability to stay home with the younger kids and take the older children to school, the result is less time as an entire family fully together at once.

Fortunately, the Labor Day Weekend provided our family to spend quality time. My wife suggested that I write about the ways we have developed to maintain our church at home despite our schedule. This post will center on five specific and simple ways to build your domestic church with little time.

Morning Prayer

St. John Vianney once said, “Prayer is the inner bath of love into which the soul plunges itself.” If we expect our kids to brush their teeth and wash their faces before school, why should we not also expect them (and ourselves) to wash their souls with morning prayer. My parents were not superbly theological in their articulation about the faith.

In hindsight, I realized they actions and prayer life made a big impact on me. Every morning on the drive to school my mom (in elementary school) and my dad (in high school) would lead us in a daily morning prayer consisting of an Our Father, Hail Mary, and various other prayers at times. This simple practice to begin the day was instrumental in build our church at home. My wife and I adopted this practice now.

Playtime can be Prayer Time

According to Genesis 2:3, God rested after completion of creation. Certainly the creator of the Universe would not tire, it is important because God “rested” as a means to show humanity the importance of taking time away from work. Some days I am too tired to play with my kids. But it is an importance duty as a parent. Play is equally as important as working. “Dad! I want you to play a game or outside with me,” my kids constantly tell me.

St. Francis de Sales in Introduction to the Devout Life wrote, “We must needs occasionally relax the mind, and the body requires some recreation also” (Part III, no 31). Throwing the frisbee with my wife the other day and watching my kids play at the playground had a sacramental quality to it. I felt drawn closer into the Mystery of God’s grace as I calmed my anxious mind through the playful activities of the weekend. The Doctor of the Church lists out good and moral playful activities, all still relevant today. Francis charts out the following:

Walking, harmless games, music, instrumental or vocal, field sports, etc., are such entirely lawful recreations that they need no rules beyond those of ordinary discretion, which keep every thing within due limits of time, place, and degree. So again games of skill, which exercise and strengthen body or mind, such as tennis, rackets, running at the ring, chess, and the like, are in themselves both lawful and good.

Look to Your Family’s Patron Saint(s)

Another simple way to grow your church at home is to reflect on your family’s patron saints. Your family’s patrons could be either the saints that you, your spouse, and your are named after or it could be a particular saint you learned about later in life. For example, if your family enjoys camping in the summer look to Saint Pope John Paul II as your role model.

My family’s patron saints are Teresa of Avila, Catherine of Siena, and Gerad of Majella. We also ask for help from the Blessed Virgin Mary and specifically are close to Our Lady Undoer of Knots devotion. Sometimes the “can’t man” or pessimistic attitude invades our house. Mary helps to undo our knots (nots) and turns them into “yeses”.

Celebrate your children’s and spouse’s saints feast days by making food specific to the nationality of that saint. Read a bedtime story about that saint’s life or print off pictures of your patron saint as a coloring activity. If you are super pinched for time that day, simply reflect on the life of that saint throughout the day.

Patience is a Virtue

A fourth reason to develop your domestic church is to exercise the virtue of patience. It is easy to tell yourself to be patient, but it is super challenging to implement on some days! Jesus told his disciples and us in Matthew 7:7, ““Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” If you are running low on patience ask Him. You will receive it. Ask. Ask. Ask. Your children may challenge your belief in that verse, but please know your struggles for the day will day—eventually!

Getting the kids ready for bed is the most challenging part for us. My wife tells me that she constantly prays the Rosary to help prevent her was losing her cool. Mary is an effective intercessor. Mary always will intercede for us and draw us close to Her Son for aid.

Night Prayer

The last strategy to implement to similar to the first—end your day with prayer. Nightly prayer as an entire family may not be feasible daily depending on your schedule. Because I work the overnight shift throughout the week, I can only pray with my wife and kids twice a week.

Frequency is not as important as consistency. I aim to consistently pray as a family even though it is only a couple times a week. Praying a decade of the Rosary or listening to the Chaplet of Divine Mercy sung are two ways my family likes to end the day.

Family that Prays Together Stay Together

As corny as the saying is families that nurture a consistent prayer life do stay together. Jesus prayed for unity (John 17:21)—so should you for your family’s sake and for the sake of the Church. Saint John Paul the Great declared, “As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live.” Serve God, your family, and the world use the time you have to foster the domestic church!

Thank you for sharing!