How Do You Face Your Worst Fears? Part 1

The inability to move or act is one of the most frustrating experiences in life. Inaction is usually a side effect of fear. Here’s an example of what I mean:

A Story about Fear

Dark forest

Imagine you are going for a walk through the forest at dusk. You’re halfway done and about to loop around to head back to your car in the gravel parking lot. You hear a sudden sound of twigs snapping. You begin to pick up pace. Walking. A brisker pace. Jogging next.

The sun seems to set almost immediately (those large oak branches block out most of the sunlight anyways). Darker and darker the woods become. And as the darkness rises so does the sound of the snapping branches.

Your legs move from jogging to running to what feels like an Olympic-level sprint. You catch your foot on a raised root and careen towards the ground. You taste bitterness. Dirt or bugs? Both? You’re too afraid to really care.

You’re already at the edge of the forest.

The good news? You see a glimmer of light from the setting sun. Purple and orange in hue.

The bad news? This is just enough light for you to notice the shadowy outline of a ten-foot-tall creature. “Get up you fool!” your brain exclaims but your body is too tired to move.

And fear sets in… the monstrous silhouette gets closer until you feel the warmth of dripping saliva and see the shadow of 5-inch-long claws. The claw-shadow swipes downward at your face. You want to move but fear disrupts your ability to act to save yourself.


Thankfully, this story isn’t real. It’s something I imagined and is inspired by a book I’m currently reading. But the theme of fear and inaction is a real thing in my current journey.

Some of the most popularized fears are phobias of spiders, enclosed spaces, or unknown creatures from alternate realities. The fear that has plagued me over the past several years is more ordinary but still leads to the feelings of doubt and despair. It’s the fear of failure and tied closely is another fear: the unknown and what the future holds for me.

The Struggle with Anxiety and Depression

Anxiety and Depression

I trust God in the large things but worry constantly about the small things. I have endured indescribable suffering of losing several unborn babies to miscarriage (every other pregnancy my wife and I have had has led to loss). Past suffering taught me God will never abandon me. Such suffering and how God has used it to stabilize my faith is something I have frequently wrote about. Check out my article Containing Joy—Rainbow Baby After Miscarriage Maelstroms. 

Despite the fact I am aware of God’s abiding presence and have numerous instances and memories to remind me of God’s love, I still struggle with worry, angst, and depression. The recipe for this is not merely to pray it away, because mental health issues involve a multi-faceted solution. Don’t get me wrong, prayer is a necessary component to fend off anxiety and depression. But it’s not the sole solution. Documenting my struggles in blog articles helps me to gain perspective and lets others into my struggles. If you are currently in a low point in your spiritual life or simply life in general, please feel free to reach out to me. I may not have the answers, but I can share in your pain and at least point you in the direction of some resources that have helped me in the past.

I started this post in reply to my fear of failure and the unknown. Since my children have gone back to school, I have more time to write. But fear has kept me in a state of inaction. I wasted yesterday and the day before with the fear of the unknown. It was like I was stuck in that dark forest, and I allowed the fear to shroud me. Cover my ability to see how it is possible to move. To act. To write.

The journey thus far one out of darkness (and inaction) and towards action. I don’t have a detailed plan with this “Fear Series” except to document my journey out of the present darkness (you could call it a sort of “Dark Night of the Soul”).

How Exactly Do You Face Your Worst Fears?

Isaiah 41:10 fear quote

It’s simple, but not easy.  You move. It doesn’t always matter which direction you move. Sometimes you move towards the fear. In this case, I moved away from the fear.

To conclude this post (and thank you for bearing with me so far) here’s a reliable prayer from Saint Teresa of Avila which helps get me to act:

Let nothing disturb you, 
Let nothing frighten you, 
All things are passing away: 
God never changes. 
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing; 
God alone suffices.

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Planetary Peregrination II—Reviewing C.S. Lewis’ Perelandra



Editor’s Note: This post was originally published on May 23, 2017.


We already looked at the first novel in C.S. Lewis’ Space Trilogy—Out of the Silent Planet. Here’s my thoughts and analysis of his second installment of his Space Trilogy—Perelandra. Like the diversity of the planets of our solar system so too does Lewis paint another vivid portrayal of Dr. Ransom’s trip to Earth’s other neighbor: Venus.

venus

Perelandra: Lewis’ name for Venus.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The book opens up with Dr. Elwin Ransom a few years removed from his celestial journey to Malancandra [Mars]. Here he receives an assignment from Oyarsa—the angelic ruler of Malacandra—to travel to Perendra [Venus] to thwart an attack by Satan! Before I continue on with the synopsis, I want to point out something interesting I discovered about the first name of Dr. Ransom. While I do not necessary know the exact motivation for Lewis’ selection of appellations I think it is telling, along with a type of foreshadowing, that Elwin is a splicing together of the ancient word for God plus win thus equaling God wins as a meaning of the main character’s name!

Now to go back to  the story, Ransom travels to the second planet from the Sun in a coffin-like  spaceship and wakes up to a vastly different world from his time on Malancandra. Kaleidoscopic and oceanic, Perelandra is largely composed of fluid raft-like islands and the planet contained a singular geographic feature called the Fixed Land.

New Mission (and Planet) for Dr. Ransom

Unlike his first space adventure, Ransom initially only encounters a single rational being—known as the Queen of the planet, an Eve-like figure. The green-skinned Queen hints at Ransom’s mission of savior and prevention of a reenactment of the Genesis Fall when she says, “that in your world Maleldil [Jesus] first took Himself this form, the form of your race and mine…Since our Beloved became a man, how should Reason in any world take on another form?” (p. 54). What the Queen refers to is that the Incarnation of God only happened once—on Earth.

perelandra

Perelandra represented a “New Garden of Eden”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another Garden of Eden/The Fall

It is not until the antagonist Weston from the first novel suddenly arrives on the scene that the battle over Perelandra begins.  Through a constant onslaught of materialistic arguments Weston, who is possessed by the Devil, tried to get the Queen to disobey Maleldil’s order to avoid sleeping a night on the Fixed Land.

Weston continues to charismatically expand on his reasons for the Green Lady to disobey Maleldil and spend a night on the Fixed Land. He focuses on the fact that this command does not really seem to make much sense and urges her that rules are meant to be broken.

The possessed Weston says,

These other commands of His—to love, to sleep, to fill this world with your children—you see for yourself they are good. And they are the same in all worlds. But the command against living on the Fixed Land is not so. You have already learned he gave no such command to my world. And you cannot see where the goodness of it is. No wonder. If it were really good, must He not have commanded it to all worlds alike? For how could Maleldil not command what is good? There is no good in it. Maleldil Himself is showing you that, this moment, through your own reason. It is mere command. It is forbidding for the mere sake of forbidding (p. 100).

The Incarnation Happens Only Once

Eventually, the diabolical argument posed by Weston crescendos when he tells the Queen the side effects of the First Fall on Earth—namely Maleldil becoming Incarnate to save humanity.

While hope is seemingly lost, Dr. Ransom realizes through a guidance of the divine voice that he himself is the savior of Perelandra. Lewis writes,

What happened on Earth, when Maleldil was born man at Bethelham, had altered the universe for ever. The new world of Perelandra was not merely a repetition of the old world Tellus. Maleldil never repeated himself. One of the purposes for which He had done all this was to save Perelandra not through Himself but through Himself in Ransom (p. 123)

Ransom eventually defeats the Un-man [Satanic possessed Weston] and the Queen is reunited with the King and the heavenly bliss continues on Perelandra. Finally, Ransom returns to Earth and continues to follow Maleldil’s mission to fight evil.

The Verdict

I loved reading this book! Like Out of the Silent Planet I give Perelandra four out of five stars. The only real downside to the book was the minimal amount of characters used throughout the novel. Aside from that issue, I enjoyed the abundant and colorful descriptions of the planet and the theological insight provided by Lewis.

So far this is the only book I have ever read that satisfies my speculative theological appetite and scientific curiosity about extraterrestrial life. The author also provides a compelling explanation for how life may exist on other planets without contradicting the Christian truth of Jesus Christ as the sole mediator.

Due to the linear nature of time, God never repeats Himself and as a result only one Incarnational event took place—2,000 years ago in Israel. Our mission as Christians if intelligent life exists outside of Earth is to unite ourselves to the One Mediator and evangelize. I highly recommend this book to any curious soul that loves C.S. Lewis, space travel, or theology!

Incarnation

Related Links

Planetary Peregrination—Reviewing C.S. Lewis’ Science Fiction

Planetary Peregrination III- Reviewing C.S. Lewis’ That Hideous Strength

The 3 Temptations of Perelandra’s Eve and Mary’s Immaculate Conception

 

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Muffingate 2020: A Blue-Eyed Suspect’s Escape during a Pandemic

🌐 Civil unrest has shook the quaint town of Chicoineville recently. Weeks and weeks of quarantine (due to a mysterious virus) left the citizens in a tizzy.

🌐 Local parks and libraries shut their doors to prevent further spread of the disease. While this stopped more outbreaks the lockdowns inadvertently resulted in an exponential increase in shenanigans.

🌐 Food shortages occurred too. Yeast, flour,  fruit, and eggs sold out like crazy. This meant no muffins.

Speaking of muffins, this is a continuation of the story dubbed “Muffingate”—a level 7 shenanigan event!

muffingate

🚨 🚨 🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨🚨🚨

📍 Video footage was discovered to be manipulated.  Police learned that the prime suspect in Muffingate, Avila Catherine Geraldine, doctored the surveillance (further analysis determined a few stuffed animals and a baby doll were strategically placed under a blanket to make it look like she never left her crib).

📍The prosecution wanted to move quickly to bring the case to court. However, the pandemic forced the mayor to suspend all government activities (this halted all court cases).

📍 While the virus has subsided and food supplies are returning back to normal, controversary stuck the nation’s police force. This caused a ripple effect all the way down to Chicoineville.

📍 The police department’s tactics for nabbing criminals and bail procedures came under fire. Pressure from the media forced Chicoine’s sheriff to lift restrictions on several ‘suspects’.

📍 ACGC was one of those impacted. She is no longer under house arrest. PRNT TV’s award-winning photographer Jenny Lynn captured this photo of the ‘muffin miscreant’ celebrating.

blueberry blue eyes Don’t let the cute face fool you. Shenanigan-makers love to disguise themselves under the veil of “adorableness’.

Notice her blue eyes. The same shade as blueberries (perhaps from eating too many blueberry muffins). Coincindence?! You be the judge. Text out “blueberry buffoonery” to 55555 to vote “Guilty” or “Not Guilty”.

📍 Alas, there is no vaccine to stop shenanigans.

📍 Stay with PRNT TV 📺 to receive full coverage on this new scandal “sweeping” across this small town.

📍Text “antics” to 55555 to get text updates and exclusive interviews with the sheriff, eyewitnesses, and first-responders.

📍This has been I.M. Shocked with PRNT News reporting. Thank you for watching (reading)!

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Detective Daddy Episode 3: Shenanigans Infect Us All

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Characters:

Detective Daddy: Me

Muffin Miscreant [mentioned]: Avila

Apple Aficionado: Josiah

Setting:

Three years after the events of Detective Daddy Episode 2: Does the Apple Fall Far from the Tree?

Detective

 

 

 

 

 

It was a crisp Friday morning. The sun barely peaked through the cloudy sky. Combined with the moisture from a recent rainfall this created a lingering fog. Detective Daddy yawned. His 15th yawn this hour. Despite having a partner, his casework kept piling up. An erratic work schedule didn’t help.

The private eye had to pick up a second job working at a local grocery store. Detective work wasn’t in demand this year. He enjoyed shopping orders for customers for pick up or delivery. The hours are what killed him. Overnight shifts exhaust a person quickly. “How does Batman do it?” the gumshoe thought to himself. “I know he has the Joker and Arkham Ayslum to manage, but I bet even Muffingate would stump him!”

Shenanigan Sleuths  

Now that was a case which pushed Detective Daddy to the brink. A high level shenanigan event. Plenty of crumbs. Evidence. But the suspect was elusive. Or still is elusive. The prosecution team thought enough evidence existed to put her away for a while.

Simple cases don’t exist. A twist was thrown into the plot. Muffin Mayhem still happened as the original Muffin Miscreant was in custody. Is it a copycat? Master and apprentice dynamic? Mere coincidence? Or some other explanation?

Yawning again, Detective Daddy told his partner, “I need coffee. Let’s get some after your appointment.” The former Apple Aficionado, now known as Josiah, replied, “And go to car wash too? It will help us wake up!”

Smiling to himself, the detective laughed, “Sure! But first coffee, then car wash.” Josiah provided a great help in recent years. A reformed caper working side by side with a detective. Thinking about it still amazed Daddy.

Everyone Commits Shenanigans 

The appointment for Josiah’s training lasted an hour. His junior partner was developing communication skills to help in life and investigating. On the drive back to headquarters, Detective Daddy turned on the radio. After a few minutes he started shaking his head, “Josiah, shenanigans now are infecting adults.” His partner replied, “What is it?” Daddy said, “Panic shopping. It’s the politically correct term for adult shenanigans. People are buying up loads of toilet paper. Now shelves are empty.”

toilet paper

“People can’t wipe their butts?!” Josiah asked. “Sadly, maybe. It is the people who can’t leave their home due to health reasons that might be most affected by it,” the detective retorted.

This conversation continued until they reached headquarters. It looked like a normal house. Attached garage. Nice front yard. But private investigators need to stay amidst the shenanigan scene while keeping their cover too.

Coffee. That was the word on the private eye’s mind the entire morning. A freshly brewed cup with French vanilla cream and a bit of almond milk sounded like bliss. He needed a burst of energy. Something to jolt his investigative juices in his brain back to life.

Opening the door, Detective Daddy noticed something troublesome. Coffee grounds strewn upon the floor. Punctured Keurig cups as well. Shenanigans never take a day off, but never has coffee been involved. This is something Detective Daddy might not be able to overcome. “Caffeine is my lifeblood,” he exclaimed. Looks like we have a new case on our hands!”

coffee meme

More Detective Daddy Cases 

Detective Daddy Episode 1: Mystery of the Sippy Cup Snatcher

Detective Daddy Episode 2: Does the Apple Fall Far from the Tree?

Muffingate 2019


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Thank you for reading and hope you have a blessed day!

 

 

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3 Ways Fiction Will Help You Escape the Strangeness of Reality


Editor’s Note: This post was originally published on July 20th, 2017.


Mark Twain once wrote, “Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.” While I do not fully understand the meaning of the great American author’s words, I find myself drawn to the concept that reality is odd, weird, peculiar, and problematic.

Seeming senseless suffering occurs daily throughout the globe: wars, famine, and violation of human rights. I do not want this post to turn into a philosophical treatise on the problem of evil. Please refer to the writings of St. Augustine or The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis for a clear and authoritative outline of the issue.

To be clear, although I experienced a push from reality toward despair when things get overwhelmed, it is interesting that fiction pulls me away from this strangeness and helps center myself.

truth stranger than fiction.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

Over the past year, I have delved into the DC Comics Universe- the realm of Superman, Batman, The Flash, and Green Lantern. I am most recently reading a voluminous story arc from the New 52 series on Superman.

Here are three ways that reading fiction will help provide stability in your life when reality is too strange.

Larger than Life, Yet Relatable Characters

Stories portray transformation and inner conflicts within characters. Superhero comics contain traditional character developments. They also add layers to the story through its main actors possessing enhanced powers. I find comic books captures readers’ attention through the dual identity of a superhero/alter ego.

life is locomotion the flash

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I will use Barry Allen/The Flash as an example because I loving running. The main power of this character revolves around speed and endurance.

Most versions have Barry’s desire to help others stemming from the death of his mother at a young age. Later endowed with super-speed and Speed-Force powers from a lightning in a laboratory, Barry soon dons the mantle of The Flash!

Despite his ability to nearly travel at the speed of light, Barry oftentimes has to slow down to solve both personal and professional problems. By reading these comics this superhero appeals to me because I sometimes tend to be impatient and act rashly at times.

Alleviation through Art

I am a visual learner. Illustrations bring me closer to the events of the comic book story. When I am reviewing books to check out from the library, one of the things I look for in a good comic is appealing artwork.

The Blackest Night Green Lantern story-line contained popping colors and heroes decked in hues highlighting their unique power rings. I felt like I dove into a verbal kaleidoscope in that crossover event. I cannot quite put my finger on it but something about the artwork of the New 52 DC Series soothes my anxiety. Without alleviation through art, I would return  an unread story back to the library as opposed to diving further into the comic book universe.

keep-calm-cause-there-s-no-place-like-home-1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In a galaxy far, far away…there is no place like home

Along with the character development of DC’s superheroes [and even non-powered support characters] and the beautiful art, I have come to greatly enjoy the move to solar system based settings. Although strangeness abounds in the various planetary systems and alternative timelines, I get a sense of excitement and wonder instead of fear from my mind travels to exotic scenes! Despite reading a revisionist version of Superman, Batman, or other heroes, a certain familiarity and tradition still remains front and center.

Traveling on these journeys provide small interludes of rest from the weariness of reality. For instance, the phones were going of the hook at my job today. I encountered strange and perplexing questions I never dealt with before. During my break time, I become an observer of Superman’s battle against his archenemy—Brainiac. I returned to the real world energized to complete my day’s remaining work.

outer space wizard of oz.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 Is Truth Stranger than Fiction?

Pontius Pilate asked Jesus Christ a question that in an old as time but still fresh and relevant today, “What is truth?” (John 18:38). Truth, reality, actuality is a perplexing thing to grasp. Humanity is not called to fully understand the mysteries of the universe. But creation is full of hints about reality.

Fiction can help you find purpose in this life. Through fiction you gain a renewed and broader perspective when returning to the “real world”. I will leave you to ponder the wisdom of J.R.R. Tolkien legendary creator of Middle Earth and The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Referring to fantasy as a natural human activity he states,

I have claimed that Escape is one of the main functions of fairy-stories, and since I do not disapprove of them, it is plain that I do not accept the tone of scorn or pity with which ‘Escape’ is now so often used. Why should a man be scorned if, finding himself in prison, he tries to get out and go home? Or if he cannot do so, he thinks and talks about other topics than jailers and prison-walls?

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Detective Daddy Episode 2: Does the Apple Fall Far from the Tree?

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Characters:

Detective Daddy: Me

Apple Aficionado: Josiah

Sir Isaac Newton: Ancestor of the former sippy cup snatcher

Annie Applesmith- town resident

Stephen Savant- town resident

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Sir Isaac Newton.jpg

Prologue [summer afternoon, England, 1667]: Sir Isaac Newton rested under the foliage of a large apple tree. The past few weeks have been exhausting—teaching at the science academy, daily research on the peculiar fall of apple from the branches, and on top of it all he came home to tend to his ill mother. Life was busy and constantly in motion. Isaac seemed close to an explanation for a working theory on the subject of gravity—an invisible force in the world. Relying on his previous successes and family name has allowed Isaac to stave off criticism from his scientific peers. “I need some real evidence soon,” though Isaac. “Otherwise, my tenure at the local university will be over! How else will I be able to support my mother?”

Pensively gazing at the ripe red apples from the tree, Isaac remembered how his interest in science began. His father owned an apple orchard and enjoyed telling little Isaac about the various breeds and farming methods to produce the best apple crop. Isaac had a tenuous relationship with his dad, but the topic of apples always provided an easy way to connect. “What if I had more time with him?” thought Isaac. Perhaps if he had a better relationship he would be ready to form a family of his own. “I am thirty-nine with no marital prospects in sight,” Isaac reflected. He needed this scientific breakthrough to come and to come soon. Staring up at the

clouds he started to nod off. His mind kept repeating the some words to himself: “Hopefully the apple does not fall far from the tree; hopefully the apple does not fall far from the tree.”

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mystery

Summer 2017: Opening his mini-refrigerator in his office, Detective Daddy surveyed his selection of fresh fruit for a small afternoon snack. Grapes, oranges, plums, and strawberries lined the inside rack- the colors providing a kaleidoscopic effect. The private investigator’s eyes did not rest until they landed on a brilliant red, crisp Braeburn. “I need to go to the store,” Detective Daddy said to himself as this was the final apple.

Along with being his favorite fruit, apples held a special place in his heart. Detective Daddy remembered fond memories of yearly trips to the apple orchard with his family. An apple a day kept his deductive skills from decaying. Recently pulled out of retirement due to the emergence of the Sippy Cup Snatcher, the veteran gumshoe quickly got back into his routine. Within the last month, he solved 15 cases! “Headquarters better promote me to super-sleuth,” thought Detective Daddy.

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Later that day: Within the heart of the town, the Sippy Cup Snatcher forlornly meandered up and down the streets. Fresh on parole from his recent stint in timeout from stealing sippy cups and causing shenanigans, the former criminal enjoyed the first moments of freedom. Pilfering water holders did not interest him anymore—no, the Sippy Cup Snatcher set his sights on a far sweeter reward—arboreal antics.

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rows of apples.jpg

Annie’s Apple Orchard [city limits]: Detective Daddy received a call from an anxious owner of the town’s favorite orchard Annie Applesmith. People also wondered if her surname motivated Annie to continue the family business. Unfortunately, that tale will take too long to tell as Detective Daddy discovered key clues to crack this case. Scattered across the grassy rows of the orchard were a plethora of bruised apples. “Muscles, bruises, strong, disregard for apples feelings,” the sleuth uttered to himself. “Annie, I think I have a lead,” declared Detective Daddy. “But I need more evidence. Call me if you see any other suspicious activity” he said.

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Rows-of-books2.jpg

Municipal Library [downtown]: Stephen Savant, the town’s head librarian called Detective Daddy exactly 9.80 days from the incident at Annie’s Apple Orchard. “Detective, I found strange shenanigans that occurred in our non-fiction section”.

After arriving at the library and questioning Mr. Savant, Detective Daddy scoured the crime scene [The non-fiction science section]. Both rows of bookshelves consisted of books stacked in orderly manner. A lone book laid half-open on the floor– Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica. “Eureka!” exclaimed Detective Daddy. A couple of elderly library regulars put their fingers to their lips to hush him. The private eye was interrupting a compelling discussion of Willa Cather’s My Antonia. “Sorry,” apologized Detective Daddy. “Wrong mathematician! I know where our Apple Aficionado will strike next,” he stated.

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apple orchard.jpg

Pink Lady Park [9.80 days later]: With the help of Annie Applesmith and Stephen Savant, Detective Daddy waited in his granny smith apple colored car. They waited and waited what seemed like 9.80 hours. “According to my watch, we waited exactly 9.80 hours,” stated Stephen.

As Detective Daddy deduced the Apple Aficionado made his move. Circular objects started falling out of the sky and landing on the sleuth’s car. “THUD, THUD, THUD!” It sounds like a hail storm outside. Exiting the car, Detective Daddy yelled, “Stop! I know what you are doing. You almost had us fooled.” Annie and Stephen prepared themselves for an intense chase scene which would ultimately lead to Detective Daddy’s record 16th solved case for the month.

Nothing of that transpired. Instead, Detective Daddy praised the Apple Aficionado. “I would like to offer you a job on my team—as lead scientific inquirer. You almost had me fooled and thinking you reverted back to your cute capered ways.” Detective Daddy went on to fill Annie and Stephen in on the motivation of the Apple Aficionado. He was the long lost descendent of the great scientist Isaac Newton. The penchant for apples and idiosyncratic interest in integers pointed toward the English scientist’s study and discovery of the law of gravity. “Let me guess, the Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica in the library sealed the case?!” exclaimed Stephen. “Yes, all I needed was one last observance to test my hypothesis…the apple does not fall far from the tree,” stated Detective Daddy.

Detective Daddy arrived back in his office later that week. “Great, it has arrived,” He told the figure sitting in the chair before his desk. The private investigator replaced his old door sign with a plaque that read:

D.D. and A.A.

Detective Agency

***

No Crime too Small to Solve

Private-Investigator.jpg

 

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