Why Does God Want Me to Give?
Last week I talked about three valuable lessons that we can learn from givers. This post will focus on the reverse side of the giver/taker coin—taking. While givers tell us what to do takers will help us know what to avoid. We will focus on three specific lessons.
Don’t be fake
Nothing frustrates me more than dishonesty. People who are takers camouflage their intention under the guise of “helping.” In reality, takers seek elicit a quick, immediate, short term relationship in hopes for a quick reward. Authenticity requires diligence, honesty, and integrity. Those virtues don’t normally lead to quick results. St. Mother Teresa stated, “Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway.”
Creating a facade may give you a sense of strength. That is a lie! It only leads to a fleeting, temporary strength. Eventually the truth with catch up to you.
Don’t be greedy
Another motivation for takers is seeking money and power. A natural fruit of inauthenticity is the need to compensate for any failures. I am reminded of the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25:14-30. Three servants are provided varying amounts of talents (5, 3, and 1) by their master. He expects them to be fruitful with them and provide a return upon arrival back from his journey. The servants with 5 and 3 talents used them wisely and shared them—as a result they received double the portion. Greedily the servant with 1 talent hoarded his without a thought about helping others. The master chided him saying, “His master said to him in reply, ‘You wicked, lazy servant!” (Matthew 25:26).
Takers don’t care about others they selfishly hold onto best practices, advice, or help (unless they get a GUARANTEE of a return). Giving does not lead to loss—in the long-run. You only receive. Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI during his November 16th, 2008 Angelus declared, “the parable places a greater emphasis on the good fruits brought by the disciples who, happy with the gift they received, did not keep it hidden with fear and jealousy but made it profitable by sharing it and partaking in it. Yes, what Christ has given us is multiplied in its giving! It is a treasure made to be spent, invested and shared with all” Don’t be greedy. Share your talents with others!
Don’t rush things
Along with avoiding dishonesty and greed, takers teach us to the value of patience. According to Jason Vana in his Linkedin video on Givers vs. Takers the latter seeks to hook you with short term trick such as an instant promotional message upon connecting or spamming your inbox. Takers seek out the short-cut, the easy way, the path of least resistance. While the path of least resistance brings success instantly, life is not a 100 yard dash. Instead, it is a marathon. Some days it feels like a mega-marathon!
Saint Pope John Paul II wisely wrote, “Young people are threatened… by the evil use of advertising techniques that stimulate the natural inclination to avoid hard work by promising the immediate satisfaction of every desire.” I would add that all people struggle against the temptation to take the easy road, the “lazy way”. All good things take time to grow in order to flourish. Be on the lookout for takers falsely promising “instant success”.
Even if you personally are not a taker you still can learn what (NOT) to do. Avoid taking advantage of others because inauthenticity and greed do not provide long term success and health. Promote a giving mentality—not for notoriety, but because it is the right thing to do. I guarantee you that would be blessed beyond measure if your heart is in the right place!
Anne Frank wrote, “No one has ever become poor by giving.” Over 70 years since her death, the Jewish diarist’s words still ring true. Generosity is not only a virtue, but a practical skill that increases your lifestyle. Jason Vana’s video on “Givers vs. Takers” inspired me to write on this subject. Today, I will focus on things givers can teach us. Givers do not have an ulterior motive. In respect to social media, Jason tells us “givers” do not place value on numbers such as follower count. Takers on the other hand seek to “use” people as a means to their end. From takers we can learn WHAT NOT TO DO. Givers teach us WHAT TO DO. Let’s look at three valuable lessons we can learn from givers.
Giving Frees You from Yourself
American author Maya Angelou wrote, “I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.” The ego prevents you from fully investing in giving best practices to your colleagues or devoting your full time and attention to your spouse. In my post 2 Effective Weapons to Defeat the Sin of Pride, I said, “Because God created humanity to live in communion, the sin of pride isolates individuals from others. Relationships strain, fracture, and eventually die if pride is left unchecked. Humility and gratitude attack and defend effectively against this sinister sin.” Pride leads to a taker mentality. Giving leads to gratitude and humility.
Giving Leads to Joy
As Jason Vana saliently stated in his Linkein video on 05/23/2019, “Real givers do it [comment, post, like, message you] without expecting anything in return.” If the motivation behind giving is completely selfless the result is not fame, fortune, or money. Sometimes givers receive those things. However, I have discovered that the times I am an authentic giver—to my wife, kids, friends, co-workers, or my neighbors—the result is joy!
St. Francis of Assisi reminds of this truth in Make Me an Instrument of Your Peace. The Italian saint says, “For it is in giving that we receive.” Experience proves this and my faith confirms this reality. Now, don’t simply turn into a giver to get the reward of joy. You will only remind a clandestine taker. Love others truly and fully. Expect nothing in return. Only later will you receive the joy [from others and the Other].
Slow and Steady Wins the Race
Along with providing freedom from the sin of pride and leading to joy, the third lesson givers teach us that life is a marathon. The official length of a marathon is 26.2 miles! Even as a former high school cross country runner, and someone trying to get back into shape, a marathon sounds like a lot of work. The same is true of a giving mentality. Giving without expecting anything in return rarely produces short-term benefits.
I am reminded from the fable The Tortoise and the Hare when listened to Jason’s series of videos on giving/taking. Giving is not something you simply do for a short period of time. You cannot increase your giving exponentially, but only for a limited time and expect to receive in return. The taker mindset views short-term successes whereas givers see their approach as a lifestyle (a long-term). Slow and steady allows you to cross the finish line. Do not be that person who exerts all their energy in the opening miles only to peter out and fail to even complete the journey.
Be a giver. Share. React. Comment. Not only on people’s posts who would benefit you. Instead, give without expecting ANYTHING in return. Help those most in need of advice and reassurance. I am grateful for Jason Vana’s videos and his humble message. I hope this post will help someone else in return as well!