Editor’s Note: Matthew Chicoine interviewed Jocelyn Abyad via phone call on June 26th, 2025. Some of the questions have been rearranged and edited to provide the best reader experience without losing any integrity of the answers given.
What inspired you to start We Carry You Still, and how did your personal experience shape its mission?
In 2020 and 2021 my husband and I lost three babies due to miscarriage (at 10 weeks, 6 weeks, and 15 weeks). We were blindsided and found there were not a lot of existing resources that were compatible with our faith.
My husband and I did some research on this and found our own journey of healing. I found a local grief support group called Forget Me Not (they later merged with Owl Love You Forever).
From the work we saw with Forget Me Not, we were inspired to create more Catholic resources for those experiencing loss. My mom, myself and a couple friends started We Carry You Still as a non-profit in 2024.
How does your Catholic faith—and the richness of the Eastern tradition—inform the way your organization accompanies grieving families?
I am an Eastern Catholic and my mom is a Roman Catholic, so we had the East and West represented. As we brought my friends on board, they are actually Orthodox, our mission expanded. The Orthodox similarly are not providing enough support on the miscarriage issue. Our faith is an Incarnate one. When you lose a child due to miscarriage it feels like this invisible weight that people are carrying on their own. One of the beauties of our faith is that we have a physical faith. We have our Mother in Heaven. She knows how it feels to bury Her child.
You mention that miscarriage affects not just the parents, but the entire Body of Christ. What does that communal aspect of grief and healing look like in practice?
Well the name of our ministry reflects that vision. We address this on several levels. First, we know that the parents and immediate family carry the baby that was lost in their hearts, even for years to come.. We offer free Memory Boxes for the women who experience the miscarriage to help them remember their child and process their grief..
Similarly, we are empowering the community to show up for the grieving family with this gift box. Sometimes the community wants to help and show up but they don’t know how. This gives them a way to do that. Everybody together is carrying each other in their grief. Mothers, fathers, living children and even parents who had miscarriages decades ago. And helping the community around them support those in grieving their loss.
What kind of spiritual and practical support does We Carry You Still offer for couples navigating miscarriage or infant loss?
We also offer healing retreats (no matter how long it has been since you lost a baby).
Our retreats are offered to women and couples. We are in the unique position that my husband is serving as a priest and father who knows the loss of a child personally.
Our box packing events are an opportunity for people to help pay if forward and put their grief to work. While we do have some people who haven’t experienced this type of loss helping with the grief boxes, it is predominantly those couples who have experienced loss themselves with miscarriages helping to prepare these boxes for those couples who are currently going through the grief of losing a child.
Many Catholic parents struggle with how to talk to their other children about miscarriage. Do you have any advice for families walking through that?
First off, on our website, we offer informational guides and resources. We have a guide for anyone who is touched by these losses. We have guides in both English and Spanish. On our resources page we have book recommendations for both adults and children. Everything we recommend is in line with official Church teaching.
Typically, for children it is helpful to keep them informed about the miscarriage, bring them to the funeral, visit the graves of their siblings, and invite them in prayers.
There’s this context by which the children can experience such loss through the lense of faith. There’s a hope in the Resurrection and seeing our babies (and their siblings) in Heaven.
I think that while my children were very sad at the moment, having them be a part of the grieving process in light of our Catholic faith has been impactful in the healing process.
How can parishes, priests, and Catholic communities be more supportive to families facing this kind of loss?
I think number one if I speak broadly, this is the forgotten front of the pro-life movement. We do a good job of praying outside abortion clinics and pray to end abortion and euthanasia. And yet we leave faithful couples in the pew who have experienced miscarriage with little to no support.
Burying the dead is a corporal work of mercy. If women are prepared to bury their babies; if people were given these resources they would be more prepared to deal with these crises when they happen.
I think we can be more sensitive on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Use more inclusive language that acknowledges that there is a range of experiences of motherhood and fatherhood.
Providing information is a key way. In the Diocese of Phoenix, we will be participating in the annual NFP training and giving couples resources if and when they may need it. To at least give them resources in the back of their mind should they experience a miscarriage.
For those who want to help but aren’t sure how, what’s the best way Catholics can support someone who’s grieving the loss of a child?
I would point back to the guides we have on our website. Don’t be afraid to mention the child. The parents will not forget about their child. If you can remember the child by name it can be very empowering.
I try to ask open-ended questions to see how they are feeling. And I also ask people to tell me about your family instead of how many kids you have.
Where can my audience learn more about your work?
Visit us at We Carry You Still and take a visual tour to learn more. You can also follow us on: Facebook and Instagram @wecarryyoustill . There are two other excellent ministries in this line of work. One is Redbird which supports child loss of any age and the other is Springs in the Desert, who supports Catholics experiencing infertility.
About Jocelyn:
Jocelyn Abyad is the wife of Fr. Zyad Abyad and mother of 7 daughters on earth and 3 babies in Heaven. She holds a degree in psychology from Arizona State University and worked as a finance banker for over a decade before choosing to stay home to homeschool her children. Alongside her husband, she serves at St. John of the Desert Melkite Catholic Church in Phoenix, Arizona.Jocelyn shares insights on homeschooling and liturgical living across multiple platforms as Melkite Momma and is a regular contributor to Byzikids Magazine. Throughout her work and personal experiences, Jocelyn seeks to foster faith, family, and community.
