Tip to Be a Better Father AND Improve Family Life

💡Dad hack #43—Use playtime with your kids as a way to get in exercise time as well

Ex: The kids were playing school this morning and it was time for “gym class”.

💡They used my arms as a pull-up/monkey bar (I supported my arm in a doorway).

💡Next my older kids climbed over me like a jungle gym. My triceps, quads, and laterals got a pretty decent workout in.

💡Lastly, my older kids completed some gymnastic workouts as I acted as a pommel horse.

💡 Laughter, smiles, and andrealine resulted as my kids and I had fun indoors.

Bonus benefits— Have your spouse or significant other exercise simultaneously (at a gym, outdoors weather permitting, or in another room) to make the most of your time.

This way you wont have to feel rushed later in the day! 🙂

💪What creative things have you done to get in exercise while spending quality time with your kids?

Share your experiences in the comments ⤵️

#Dadhack #Parenthood #parentingtips #fatherhood #dadlife

Thank you for sharing!

Why You Should Have a Purpose in 2020

2020 vision or hindsight is 2020?!

🌐 Start with your “why” and keep the end in mind to know the start.

🌐 I officially started my career as a freelance writer in the middle of 2019.

🌐 That journey already has included peaks, valleys, and plateaus.

❓Why do I write? Why deal with the anxiety of entrepreneurship? The loneliness? The stress?

2020 Vision

One word—PROCESS

Everything we do in life is a process or a journey. It takes time, patience, understanding, willingness, collaboration, humility, and gratitude.

🖋Writing has been my passion forever and I am made a better person—a more patient parent, an empathetic employee, and forgiving friend—the more I write and share with the world.

Our world is impatient, angry, assuming, unforgiving, and divided. I imagine a world where more people know how to #communicate with both TRUTH and CHARITY.

💫I believe it is my purpose in life to provide content that provides real unity that goes beyond the screen of our phones.

As a Catholic, my Church has been scandalous and lost the trust of the world and many of her members.

🙏I am here to help earn that trust back—not for any personal gain, but because I need to share my gift as a means to thank God for every blessing in my life!

❓What word would capture your goals for 2020?

Catholicism 2020 vision

Thank you for sharing!

💡Seek to be among the best, but you don’t have to be the best!

This mindset was something I used to find strange and counterproductive.

But I stopped looking on the short-term.

Being among the top in your respective fields has the following benefits:

✅ Consistency

Simon Simek speaks of the infinite vs. the finite game.

The finite game centers on winning the game itself while the infinite games involves staying around to continue playing.

Steel sharpens steel.

Find individuals who are better than you. Learn from them. Let them challenge you.

Challenge you to grow your strengths (and weaknesses).

When you focus on being among the best you will always be successful, just not necessarily the top in you field.

✅ Removes harmful pressures

If you focus on ONLY being the best, when you end up in second place 🥈 you will only see the negative.

“I didn’t win” the pessimist says.

“I ran the race well and finished among the best!” is what the optimist says.

Is it better to finish number one once in a while, but perform mediocrely the other times

OR

Consistently be in the top 10% year in & year out even if you never finish first?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

#Consistency #Excellence #Success #Competition

Thank you for sharing!

3 Incredibly Simple Tools to Incapacitate Anxiety 

According to Derek Beres, a Los Angeles-based author, music producer, and fitness instructor in a 2017 article Why is Anxiety Increasing in America?,

Anxiety is one of those phenomena that non-sufferers sometimes claim, ‘it’s all in your mind.’ That’s simply not true; panic attacks are also a somatic experience. With a growing awareness of what creates anxiety and a captive online community searching for solutions, we’re learning more about what those triggers are and how they interact with our mind and body.

stress breaker.jpg

While I am far from an expert on the psychology or neurology, I do have knowledge about anxiety from my own personal experiences. Suffering from anxiety and depression myself I learned methods to combat worry and constant anxiety.

As a father and husband I learned that the bustle and complexity of family life ultimately points me toward growing in the virtue of patience and gentleness instead of being a burden to my career endeavors.

Some days, my youngest son diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder bombards me with continual interruptions, meltdowns, and challenges, and I feel like giving up. Ironically, enough, this is the seventh attempt to finish this paragraph already this morning [my two-year old wanted me to get a particular toy-car from under the couch and then he proceeded to open the fridge and point to the pickle jar for his second-breakfast snack! :)]

second breakfast.gif

Sadly, I momentarily allowed the stress wanting to post today’s article sooner rather than later to get the better of me. Suffering interruptions and being compelled to exercise patience I believe actually strengthens my message rather than weakening it. I am reminded by the words of St. Maria Faustina on the subject of suffering, “O, my Jesus, I understand well that, just as illness is measured with a thermometer and a high fever tells us of the seriousness of the illness; so also, in the spiritual life, suffering is the thermometer which measures the love of God in a soul.” Below I am sharing three incredibly simple tools to help to incapacitate anxiety.

Disclaimer: Please remember that the battle against depression and anxiety must be continually fought so while these tool are effective they may not all apply to you now, but I promise you it would be wise to keep them on your utility-belt for the future.

checkpoint.jpg

Checkpoint victories

Recently, I learned that the best way to develop a strategy against stress, anxiety, depression, and fear of failure is to focus on miniature goals. As an avid runner in high school, I utilized this practical strategy when finishing a 5-6 mile training circuit.

Focusing on a point close ahead [i.e. a stop-sign, a large tree, or the corner of the block] I made checkpoints for me to continue running towards. As a result of these minor checkpoints, small victories led to the major victory–finishing a training session without stopping or setting a personal record during a race.

While many of you may not be a runner, and some may even despise exercise [believe me I understand some days I dread working out and simply lack the energy to do so!] the idea of setting short-term and minor goals is something that is transferable to managing daily anxiety.

“Focus on two or three specific goals instead of trying to succeed at mastering many, many things at once. This will help reduce your stress,” my former manager once told me.

Today, I am heeding his words by incorporating these three tools today and for the rest of the week.

Even as I write/wrote this post, I am making bit-sized victories as my kids demanded/asked for my attention. Consequently, the involuntary writer hiatus count is up to 18–it may be up to closer to 30-40 by the time this post is complete that may depend on whether my kids place nicely together the amount of times I decide to help of my favorite literary creature the Thesaurus for inspiring me to come up with fancy phrasing/names such as the involuntary writer hiatus count [as opposed to the boring “interruption-count”]

list

♬ Make a list, check it twice ♬

No, I am not referring to the Christmas classic song Santa Claus is Coming to Town. Thank goodness, right! We already have Christmas in July specials do we really need Santa in Springtime?

The second tool to incapacitate anxiety is to make a list of all the blessings in your life. A simple way to incorporate this into the work day is to put a blank Post-It note on your desk. Next, as the day progresses [if there is no time in the morning] start to jot a names of people that bring you joy.

Include as well any material goods that you are grateful for as well: shelter, sunlight, water, food, clothes, and other simple joys. Trying this yesterday allowed me to re-orient any negative and anxious feelings towards a mindset of thanksgiving.

Acid Attack

  According to research [see link for more information: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/tamara-star/post_13013_b_11766146.html] , eating citrus fruits is a practical tasty way to lower anxiety.

Noticing a fellow co-worker eating an orange everyday on her morning break piqued my attention especially because she shared her daily struggles with anxiety and depression. I tried this simple strategy this week–and it worked!

The citric acid and taste of the orange calmed my stress. I even kept the orange peel and smelled a few times the oil from the peel and scent of citric acid continued to provide soothing relief.

oranges-foto.jpg

Well, I finally finished this post. Anyone interested in the grand total for the involuntary writer hiatus count: it reached 30–and no, I did not visit my friendly online Thesaurus again, that was all my children–impressive to say the least!

Hopefully, you find these tools invaluable in your war against anxiety. Once again, it you do not find them useful currently, please keep them in your anxiety armory for the next skirmish against stress. After all that writing, I am famished, I think my second breakfast will consist of a couple oranges! Thank you again for reading.

Thank you for sharing!

3 Reasons Why Life is Confusing like a Maze

The great Chinese philosopher Confucius once said, “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” His words seemed geared especially for my ears. I tend to overthink and over analyze situations in my life.

As a result, instead of simply living I conflate daily stresses into something bigger than need be. I started doing puzzles to help me deal with my anxiety. I also rediscovered my childhood love of maze puzzles. That got me thinking life is sort of like a maze. The dictionary defines the word maze as “a network of paths and hedges designed as a puzzle through which one has to find a way out”.

A secondary definition for this word is when it is used as a verb: “to be dazed and confused”. I will incorporate both descriptions about mazes in my writing today. Here are three ways why my life lately is like a maze.

maze.gif

Life is complex, yet beautifully simple

Life is a busy and complex event. As a parent of four children, life grows greater in complexity: school is starting up shortly, bedtime routines need to be followed strictly, kids get sick, and my job schedule is in transition. Life is complex. But does it have to be?

When I stop and reflect on my life all I truly need to do include: feeding my family and myself, providing a shelter, teaching my children, providing clothing, and helping my wife. Life is a paradox—it is both simple and complex.

Matthew 6:25-34 tells of the simplicity in life and Jesus urges his followers [and us] not to worry as we will be provided for because the birds of the air and other creatures are cared for as well.

Mazes are both simple and complex. All mazes have a beginning and end—simple. However, each maze is unique in its level of complexity due to the amount of dead-ends and size—complex.

beginning and end.jpg

Know the beginning and the end

The desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God; and God never ceases to draw man to himself. Only in God will he find the truth and happiness he never stops searching for:

The dignity of man rests above all on the fact that he is called to communion with God. This invitation to converse with God is addressed to man as soon as he comes into being. For if man exists it is because God has created him through love, and through love continues to hold him in existence. He cannot live fully according to truth unless he freely acknowledges that love and entrusts himself to his creator. (CCC 27).

Through faith and science I know that the origin of the universe began with a omnipotent force—known to Christians as God. Witnesses of the saints’ lives, the teachings of the Catholic Church, and my faith inform me that death is not the end. Rather it is a springboard to a possible eternity with God. Life is like a maze in that it is book-ended with a clear start and finish.

  • Why does the in between section [life] become complicated?
  • Why do I find myself laboring through a labyrinth?

The answer is simple! I forget the beginning and end goals of my puzzle that I call life.

Dot-to-dot living—perception or possibility?

Along with mazes, I enjoyed completing dot-to-dot puzzles in my elementary years. Having children in elementary school has reminded me of these fun and simple type of games. Unlike mazes, dot-to-dots are straightforward—you simply start with the lowest number [or letter] dot and connect it to the next digit until the puzzle is complete.

Oftentimes, I wish my life played out more like a dot-to-dot puzzles than a maze. I enjoy order and a linear pattern to living.

  • Why does God allow life to exist in dot-to-dot manner?
  • Why does He permit mazes caused by evil [personal and natural] to tangle up my life?
    Holy Thursday bread and wine dot-to-dot.jpg

I asked these questions during period of my deepest depression and intense suffering. Arriving on the other side of suffering, I came to realize both through experience and prayer that God allows mazes to develop in human life due to the gift of free will.

Freedom is both the greatest gift and great challenge we face on a daily basis. I am free to try impose my control over this life and fashion it into dot-to-dot living or I am free to embrace the a[maze]ness of this life and learn to rely on others and God for help and support when I inevitably face apparent dead-ends in my spiritual life.

Centering my life on a proper order of love—God, family, friend, fellow men—provides stability. Instead of laboring through life’s labyrinth, embracing my maze allows me to live to the fullest. Saint John tells us of God’s enduring nature in Revelation 22:13, “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, then beginning and the end.” When I view life through this sense I am able to incorporate Confucius’ teaching in daily living.


“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”

alpha and omega.jpg

Thank you for sharing!

Holiday (and Husband) Hack #1

Listen to your wife

💡Husband Hack #1💡

💙Don’t argue with your wife (especially when she has a logical case in her favor).

See below example ⤵️


Wife: “Matt, you need new socks!”

Me: “No, I don’t. I have plenty of pairs.”

Wife: “They have holes on the heels, the threads are wearing out, and on several pairs I can see your big toe poking through. Last winter had record lows temperatures. Remember February 12th when Sioux Falls (and other parts of the Midwest) had colder temperatures than even Antarctica?!”

Me: “Yeah, but Antarctica is in the Southern Hemisphere. Of course our winter time is going be colder sometimes because it is experiencing its warmest temps.”

Wife: “Regardless, you need socks. Hey what is that Catholic website that sells neat saint socks?”

Me: “Socks Religious.”

Wife: Okay, that is what I am getting you for Christmas. You love Catholic saints and I love your feet being warm so you don’t catch a cold. Deal?!”

Me: “Okay, but can you get me a JPII or Fulton Sheen pair?”


🔷Catholic husbands don’t be like me. Listen to your wife when she tells you that you need new socks!

🔷For quality socks with creative Catholic designs check out Socks Religious. They include socks for kids as well (because we all know that socks mysterious lose their partner in the dryer so better to have more in the dresser on hand).

🔷Select from a variety of saints from Mother Teresa and Our Lady of Guadalupe to St. John Paul II and (soon-to-be blessed) Fulton Sheen!

https://sockreligious.com/?rfsn=2556218.17e774

#husbandhacks #socksreligious #holy #socks #christmasgifts #giftideas

Thank you for sharing!

Thinking About the Box (of Creativity)

Cardboard Boxes

📦📦📦Think outside the box! Don’t box yourself inside the walls of your situation. But what if you thought ABOUT the box itself??

I found an empty cardboard box 📦 at work last night—I work part-time a grocery store so I see hundreds of boxes daily. Two things made this box different:

  • The box was not for me it was for my six-year old daughter. Her favorite class is art and she has made countless cardboard creations at home. My favorite and the one I think was the most creative was a “living room” out of an empty shoebox. She made a TV, remote, couch, and food area for her stuffed animals. Boxes have overtaken sticks and rocks as the new favorite toy in the Chicoine household.

 

  • This box was uniquely shaped. Still rectangular it contained an opening on the front and extra cardboard pieces (they were used as dividers to separate the different flavors of the cereal).

Don’t Over-analyze Creativity

Thinking about the “box” or situation before you can actually help to generate creative or outside the box ideas. Boxes generally carry (no pun intended) the connotation of conformity, uniformity, or sameness. People want to stand out. Be unique. Individuals. It is just part of human nature.

The times I most often struggle with creativity are when I box myself in. I believe I have to re-invent the wheel (or box). Desiring to develop a 100% brand new idea without reference to others is not only ambitious it is selfish. Ideas don’t occur in a vacuum. Every thought, idea, project, or endeavor was influenced by someone: your parents, children, spouse, friend, boss, society, books, music, or the information sea of the Internet.

Who Influenced You?

My daughter was that influence for me in picking up that box. As I passed by the cardboard box I asked my co-worker who was stocking items for Aisle 8, “Hey, it is alright if I take this box? My kid loves creates things from cardboard.” He replied, “Sure! It is good to know there is creative people. That is what we need more in school individuals going against the grain. Thinking for themselves.”

💭 How have you fostered creativity in your work and hobbies recently?

💭Have you thought about the “boxes” in your life? Why or why not? If you, what did you learn?

💭What type of cardboard creation do you think my daughter will create with that box today?

Empty boxes provide us opportunity to examine our situations from multiple perspectives: internally, externally, and even simply neutrally about life. Give yourself time this week to be reflect on your goals. You will be surprised how creativity will spring forth!

Thank you for sharing!