Daring Not Staring: Our Charge to Live Boldly

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Nelson Mandela declared, “Sometimes, I feel like one who is on the sidelines, who has missed life itself.” Do you ever feel like life is go going by without your being engaged with reality? Are you in a stupor or continual state of lethargy? Is it easier to sit on the sidelines and stare in judgment at the characters in your life that wronged you than it is to actively seek opportunities to change your life?

Do you worry if you answered yes to any of these questions—I myself often reflect on these issues and frequently I feel like a static character in the story of my life! Humans desire fulfillment in life. Yet, there is a tension between the ideal we strive for—embracing challenges with resolve— and the reality that life sometimes bogs us down and weariness set in.

C.S. Lewis purported, “Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward toward success.” As a perfectionist, an internal struggle exists within my heart and mind over action versus inaction in daily situations. Oftentimes, when I make a great mistake, whether it be at work or home, I freeze—I regulate myself to the sidelines of life. Failure can either sow fruit or decay. Your attitude toward adversity is key as to whether disappointments lead to opportunity to a continued cycle of idleness on the sideline.

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My Catholic faith strongly colors how I approach strife and difficulty in life. However, I continually need to be reminded that transformation occurs through daring to live authentically instead of simply staring, remaining still and being pessimistic when sins of others affect my life. In his general audience on Holy Wednesday, April 16, 2014 Pope Francis urged Catholics [and the entire world],

We expect that God, in his omnipotence, will defeat injustice, evil, sin and suffering with a triumphant divine victory. Instead, God shows us a humble victory that in human terms seems to be a failure. And we can say this: God wins in failure. Indeed, the Son of God on the Cross appears to be a defeated man. He suffers, He is betrayed, He is vilified, and finally dies. But Jesus allows evil to set upon Him, He takes it all upon Him in order to vanquish it. His Passion is not incidental; his death — that death — was ‘foretold.’ It is an unsettling mystery, but we know the secret of this mystery, of this extraordinary humility: ‘God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son.’ [Emphasis mine]

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I came across a person who questioned the goodness of this life. Rejecting the notion that our earthly existence is a gift, she emphatically declared, “Eternal life is the gift, Earthly life is an insane asylum, and all the patients run free!” A bold claim—this lady was half-right. While the fullness of truth, joy, and beauty is founded in complete relationship with God in Heaven, goodness can still be discovered in the created order. The Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraph 34 contains this truth,

The world, and man, attest that they contain within themselves neither their first principle nor their final end, but rather that they participate in Being itself, which alone is without origin or end. Thus, in different ways, man can come to know that there exists a reality which is the first cause and final end of all things, a reality ‘that everyone calls God’.

Along with the inherent goodness of creation, the Catholic Church clearly teaches the dignity of all life, “Every human life, from the moment of conception until death, is sacred because the human person has been willed for its own sake in the image and likeness of the living and holy God” (CCC 2319). I challenged that individual I encountered to seek the joy within this reality—even in the midst of apparent [and oftentimes real] suffering! Some people may desire to flee from suffering or difficulty.

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Rushing to the sidelines in the middle of the game-of-life is the easy option. Is it truly the best strategy in life? Maybe in the short-term. In the long-run, in the end-game, daring to engage in life—both the high and lows—as opposed to staring from the sidelines is the preferred method.

St. Cyprian of Carthage boldly proclaimed the value of mettle in face of trials, “This, in short, is the difference between us and others who know not God, that in misfortune they complain and murmur, while the adversity does not call us away from the truth of virtue and faith, but strengthens us by its suffering.” Put another way, the hockey legend Wayne Gretzsky succinctly said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

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Do not miss an opportunity to live life to the fullest. Seize the chance to put others before yourself. Be bold in picking up your cross and follow Christ’s command in Mark 12:31, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The joy found in selfless and bold living will be immeasurable. Follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit to better your life. I dare you!

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How I Set the Re-set Button on My Anger Today

Saint Alphonsus Liguori wrote, “When we have to reply to anyone who has insulted us, we should be careful to do it always with meekness. A soft answer extinguishes the fire of wrath. If we feel ourselves angry, it is better for us to be silent, because we should speak amiss; when we become tranquil, we shall see that all our words were culpable.” 

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How do you react when you experience injustice? Do you quickly respond with fury? Do you wait to reflect on the situation? I experienced a frustrating and unjust situation at work where I actually was able to diffuse the anger in my soul. Sometimes, I wish I a re-set button existed for me to push to begin my day again! Well, I experienced a sort of spiritual re-setting midway through today. How did I accomplish such a feat? Actually, it was fairly simple–yet difficult– I asked for help through prayer.

After I experienced the work situation that embarrassed me I used our scheduled lunch break to pause. I texted a close friend of mine an urgent, yet simple plea, “Please pray for me! I am feeling like I am going to lash out in anger to a co-worker.” Recognizing my problem of anger is the first step towards the cure. The next step is asking for help. Surprisingly, my anger dissipated fairly quickly. I listened to the wisdom of the Church as taught by St. James [and St. Alphonsus Liguori above!]. Chapter three of  the epistle of James warns against the dangers of the tongue. The letter compares man’s tongue to a fire–gossip and angry words can spread like a wildfire.

I am grateful for the gift of patience and self-control granted to me by the Holy Spirit today. I hope that I may continue to improve on limiting my anger flare-ups on my pilgrim journey towards holiness. I pray today for anyone specifically suffering from the sin of anger and wrath–know that I am with you [in prayer] in your journey to be a better version of yourself as well! God blesses us with a new day–and a new chance– to hit the re-set button.

keep calm and have patience