Life

Having an Overwhelming Monday? Ask This Saint for Help

/ chicoinematt

Pressures from work mount. Nearly every customer inaction is strained and frustrated. Changes at work along with starting a new daycare schedule for my youngest son only compound the uncertainty and stresses. Monday definitely is one of the more overwhelming days of the week where I feel overmatched and unprepared—this week is no different.

Frequent quick breaks and perspective-taking has helped keep any extra confusion, frustration, and despair in check. During these “timeouts” I pray to the perfect saint for comfort for a case of the Mondays—St. Thorlak. I have previously written about unique potential patronage for him in my article: The Curious Case for St. Thorlak’s Patron Sainthood .

As someone who preferred a strict routine, Thorlak struggled to deal with changes in his daily schedule. Just when it appears that my day is getting back on track with a small stretch of regularity and familiarity a sudden—and frustrating—wrench charges in to make up any stability I built. Immediately, the first person I thought of when this vexations bombard me is Thorlak. Already through mid-day I have prayed this simple, but relatable prayer, attributed to him at least a dozen times.

Holy Thorlak,

Cut with the scythe of your workings

The thorns casting shadows

in my unclear mind.

I am grateful for the consolation the Holy Spirit provided me through the intercession of St. Thorlak and also via the comforting words of reassurance my supervisor gave me after several trying phone calls. Honestly, I did not plan on nor expect to be writing about St. Thorlak. I actually had another article partially done that I hoped to publish today. Grace is a mysterious gift that enters the scenes of our life unannounced, but freely granted! Thank you God for the overwhelming grace to combat the overwhelming frustrating forces of Monday’s.

–St. Thorlak pray for us!

Thank you for sharing!

Forming Good Habits—Say Yes to the Good and No to the Bad

/ chicoinematt

Irish playwright Bernard Shaw spoke once said, “There is no love sincerer than the love of food.” Truly, what could be more commonplace than eating, save for drinking water or possibly sleep. Food is a necessity to living—nourishment sustains us physically. Ralph Waldo Emerson whimsically wrote, “Moderation in all things, especially moderation.” Any physical good in this world is susceptible to become an evil if it interferes with a higher good or turns into a disordered love.

Excessive eating of sugary foods [candy, mocha coffees, and fast food] is something I have struggled with over the course of recent months—an past few years! Normally, I would rationalize my food choices. “I have a good metabolism!” or “I ran several miles yesterday,” were a couple of my excuses for refusing to stymie my desire for fast-food and over-indulging in sweets. While some people may simply view overeating leading to physical effects, this bad habit of gluttony actually may have pernicious changes to your spiritual life.

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church 1866, gluttony is listed among the deadly sins, “Vices can be classified according to the virtues they oppose, or also be linked to the capital sins which Christian experience has distinguished, following St. John Cassian and St. Gregory the Great. They are called “capital” because they engender other sins, other vices.138 They are pride, avarice, envy, wrath, lust, gluttony, and sloth or acedia.”

Although not the most sinister, dangerous, or even the most common of the 7 deadly sins, the sin of gluttony seems to go under the radar and unnoticed as an underlying issue. Perhaps it is because I live in the United States and 21st century were food choices and availability abound, but I always viewed gluttony as the stealthiest of the capital sins. The Evil One seeks to entrap souls by stumbling into this seemingly benign pit of primal urge to eat. Pope Saint Gregory the Great spoke of gluttony in this manner, “The vice of gluttony tempts us in five ways. Sometimes it forestalls the hour of need; sometimes it seeks costly meats; sometimes it requires the food to be daintily cooked; sometimes it exceeds the measure of refreshment by taking too much; sometimes we sin by the very heat of an immoderate appetite.” My unhealthy desire for Burger King Ice Mocha Coffees certainly fit the holy pontiff’s description as a temptation. Increased expenses in our budget and causing me to rush to work unnecessarily are physical effects of my gluttonous attachment.

Regarding my spiritual life, my gluttonous habits caused undue financial stresses and anger flares between my wife and I. What is the remedy to my sickness? Simple. Say no to the bad and say yes to the good!

1. Fasting:  Pope Saint John Paul II declared, “Fasting is to reaffirm to oneself what Jesus answered Satan when he tempted him at the end of his 40 days of fasting in the wilderness: “Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God” (Mt 4:4). Combined with the sacrament of Confession the fruit of fasting include greater self-control and trust in God. Currently, I am limiting my caffeine intake and making more conscience and controlled situations with what I eat.

Fasting means abstaining from food, but includes other forms of self-denial to promote a more sober lifestyle. But that still isn’t the full meaning of fasting, which is the external sign of the internal reality of our commitment to abstain from evil with the help of God and to live the Gospel . . .

2. Say Yes to the Good: What exactly is good? Is that not relative to each individual? Ultimately, there is an inherent goodness to all of creation—Genesis 1:31 mentions “God looked at everything he had made, and found it very good.” Saint Augustine reiterated this biblical truth that all created reality contains goodness, but focusing on a smaller good over a greater good is in a sense committing evil. “All of nature, therefore, is good, since the Creator of all nature is supremely good. But nature is not supremely and immutably good as is the Creator of it. Thus the good in created things can be diminished and augmented. For good to be diminished is evil,” the Doctor of the Church declared in his Confessions. Place creation above human interactions would be considered disordered and likewise placing humans over God would be also disordered.

Giving up my penchant for coffee and sugar

to sacrifice for the greater good of my

family’s budget—more money to go around

for healthier food and needs for my children,

is following the chain of being.

Forming better habits involve sacrificing

lesser good for higher goods.  The first step is

to say no to the bad—this may be achieve

with penance and fasting. Secondly, say YES

to the good—prioritize accordingly. God first,

others second, yourself third.

“And He said to him, “Why are you asking Me about what is good? There is only One who is good; but if you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.” –Matthew 19:17

Thank you for sharing!

Little Steps to Big Success!

/ chicoinematt / 1 Comment

Humanity in the 21st century live in a time defined by the age of social media, instant gratification, and spirit of one-upmanship. Listening to sports radio the other day, I learned that baseball—the traditional national pastime in the United States—is on the declined. Players focus on hitting grandiose homers and run the risk of striking out. This all-or-nothing principal, typifices our high-risk/high reward culture. Put another way, Hollywood actor Jason Statham, “Every sequel needs to be bigger and better!”

As a member of the human race at this particular time period, I too struggle with the appeal and temptation to reduce my worth—as a writer, employee, and father—to be equal to how “big” or “flashy” my success look like. According to the ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius, “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” His words seems to be penned for me in particular. I often insist on taking the more glamorous, but more complicated, route in life. The same is true when it comes to my blog posts. I try to think of a superbly clever topic and feel like I need a particular word count—the more the better—in order for a post to be considered successful or relevant to my audience.

Being pinched for time lately, my desire for the pizazz and ambitious adjective littered prose hit a wall. I simply cannot write 1,000+ word posts three times a week. Perhaps it is a season; regardless of the specific reason it is good to be reminded that the frequently and sheer amount of articles I procedure do not equal quality. I am reminded of the words of St. Therese of Liseux, “Remember that nothing is small in the eyes of God. Do all that you do with love.” The littleness of the French saint’s way really leads to big success [both in holiness—and when applied to practical living].

Focusing on little acts of love at home [and even little acts of efficiency and politeness at work] provide the foundation for greater growth and potential for increased sanctity and success. Without rambling on too much, I will leave you today with a few quotes from the Little Flower—I hope you find hope in this little way!

The value of life does not depend upon the place we occupy. It depends upon the way we occupy that place.

Perfect love means putting up with other peoples shortcomings, feeling no surprise at their weaknesses, finding encouragement even in the slightest evidence of good qualities in them.

My vocation, at last I have found it; my vocation is love.

Miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word; always doing the smallest right and doing it all for love

Thank you for sharing!

In Memoriam

/ chicoinematt

According to Thomas Jefferson, “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.” Today, the United States celebrates Memorial Day—a holiday to remember and honor the sacrifice of countless men and women who desired to safeguard freedom that Americans live out on a daily basis.

Along with remembrance, it is important to remind ourselves to be grateful for the brave service members fallen in combat to protect freedom. Without those valiant and noble sacrifices, the outlook of America would be vastly different. Freedom of speech and religion for not be around without such sacrifices. For example, I may not have the ability to express my thoughts and religious convictions on WordPress. I am incredibly humbled and thankful for the gift of sacrifice. I pray for continued consolation to the families of fallen heroes. Words cannot adequately express my gratitude for the gift of safety and freedom that ordinary citizens such as myself receive because of those sacrifices. The best way for me to close this tribute post is with this simple prayer:

God of power and mercy,

you destroy war and put down earthly pride.

Banish violence from our midst and wipe away our tears,

that we may all deserve to be called your sons

      and daughters.

Keep in your mercy those men and women

who have died in the cause of freedom

and bring them safely

into your kingdom of justice and peace.

We ask this though Jesus Christ our Lord.

R/. Amen

Thank you for sharing!

Toy Cars, Smiles, and Autism: A Birthday Tribute to Our Family’s Healer

/ chicoinematt

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Today my family celebrates my youngest son’s two-year old birthday. Since his breakthrough into this world, he provided my life with light, levity, and laughter. Being our rainbow baby—a child born after suffering a marriage—his name seemed to be apropos, Josiah. The name Josiah actually means “healer”. Truly, the Holy Spirit guided my wife and I toward this name. In a gridlock over boy names, suddenly the name Josiah entered my mind as an option. Upon telling my wife of this idea she fell instantly in love with the name. Only after settling on this matter did we discover his healing nature.

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According to Psalm 147:3, “[God] heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds.” The Divine Physician sends healing graces in a myriad of ways—the ordinary and prime method is through the gifts of the seven sacraments. Children are a natural fruit of the procreative sexual acts. God elevates these fruits in the sacrament of Matrimony to provide husband and wife opportunities to growth in holiness and strength to remain steadfast and calm in difficult family times.  Paragraph 1641 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church clearly states,

By reason of their state in life and of their order, [Christian spouses] have their own special gifts in the People of God.147 This grace proper to the sacrament of Matrimony is intended to perfect the couple’s love and to strengthen their indissoluble unity. By this grace they ‘help one another to attain holiness in their married life and in welcoming and educating their children.’

As previously stated, the ordinary means of growing in holiness is through participation of the sacramental life. Within the sacrament of Matrimony I have learned that laughter is a strong defense against the prowess of pride. No other person [aside from my wife] is able to consistently cause me to laugh or smile, and I mean genuinely grin until my mouth hurts or laugh until my side hurts, than my son Josiah! Recently diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder he poses an array of daily challenges, but his [apparent] disability gives him the unique ability to provide levity to stressful situations throughout the week.

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A major trait for people with autism spectrum disorder is that they normally become obsessed with a particular interest that encompasses nearly every facet of life. Toy cars emerged as my son’s particular obsession–several months ago– and he needs to carry at least one car in hand at all times. Toy cars provide comfort to him during stressful and changing situations. Allowing him to carry toy cars helps minimize meltdowns and tantrums. Seeing my son’s enthusiasm and joy whenever he wakes up in the morning and runs over to the toy-chest to dump over his box of cars and trucks gives me a smile. His routine is the same each day.

Consulting the King of Paradox

The joy of autism in my son reminds me of the words of G.K. Chesterton,

Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, “Do it again”; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, “Do it again” to the sun; and every evening, “Do it again” to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we (Orthodoxy). 

not bored

Monotony does not exist in our household. Autism spectrum disorder is challenging to deal with as a parent. I would be a liar if I said otherwise. However, going into marriage and thinking parenting, of any kind, would be easy is a fallacious  lie the Evil One sows into the minds individuals entering marriage. Admittedly, I am prone to the sin of laziness and I too fell, and recently fell, into the trap of believing that parenthood should be easy. The benefit of writing this tribute is that it has allowed me time to ponder the ups and the downs of fatherhood.

Mary’s Perfect Motherhood–a pathway to a more perfect fatherhood 

Recently, I renewed my dedication to the Blessed Virgin Mary through praying the Rosary as I rocked Josiah to bed. Starting with a couple Hail Marys I worked my way up to a decade before he started chucking his toy cars onto the floor–this is a sign he usually is ready for me to lay him down in the crib. The simple petition to my spiritual Mother actually allowed me to grow in the virtue of patience–vitally important for my journey toward being a better father. St. Josemaria Escriva advocated of the Rosary by saying, “Say the Holy Rosary. Blessed be that monotony of Hail Mary’s which purifies the monotony of your sins!” 

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My experience can attest to the truth value of his statement. Bedtime is the perfect time for the Devil to swoop in and allow for sins of impatience and anger explode. Children often arise from bed, even now as I write, my daughter is getting out of her room to try to escape nap time [thus interrupting the flow of my writing!] “Dad! I dropped my golden boogers (jar of gold flakes that she somehow found from my childhood trip to Yellowstone) behind the dresser!” This was the reason my children were up. I cannot make up this stuff. Truly the fruits of marriage provide unique opportunities and challenges for parents to ferment in holiness.

 Thank you God for the gifts of my children–challenging as they may be to raise. I am grateful to celebrate my son Josiah’s birthday– the creator of laughter, smiles, and curator of toy cars in our household. May God bless you and I pray the Holy Spirit is able to open your hearts to the joy of laughter just as my son frequently does for my family!

Thank you for sharing!

Saturday Stress: System Glitches, Panic, & Confusion

/ chicoinematt

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American author Melody Beattie once wrote, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” Her words certainly seemed quite relevant this icy and confusing Saturday. Working my first official Saturday shift at my new work position involved frenzied co-workers, negativity, and confusion due to the unveiling of the new payment system.

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As with any new technology release, glitches are guaranteed to appear during the initial days of the life of any change/update in a computer system. Beginning with murmurings that eventually led to loud vocal outbursts, several co-workers expressed severe dissatisfaction with the new system release. Surprisingly, I handled the change well. During points of transition where major changes occur in the workplace I get nervous—I allow fear to take over. However, calmness of mind and heart hovered over me.

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Such tranquility did not originate from me. A power greater than I provided me the gift of peace and calmness of heart. My Catholic faith allows me to give a name to this power—the Holy Spirit. At Baptism I become an adopted child of God and the Holy Spirit indwelt within me.

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church numbers 1227-1228, “Through the Holy Spirit, Baptism is a bath that purifies, justifies, and sanctifies.31 Hence Baptism is a bath of water in which the “imperishable seed” of the Word of God produces its life-giving effect.32 St. Augustine says of Baptism: ‘The word is brought to the material element, and it becomes a sacrament.'” Over time I have learned that the seed of the Catholic faith needs to be watered and fed by asking for God’s graces. According to the great doctor of the Church St. Ephraim, “Virtues are formed by prayer. Prayer preserves temperance. Prayer suppresses anger. Prayer prevents emotions of pride and envy. Prayer draws into the soul of the Holy Spirit, and raises man to Heaven!”

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Jesus tells us in Matthew 7:7, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” I have probably made reference to this quote more recently than anything else the God-man taught us. The Holy Spirit provides clarity in confusing and stressful situations, but showering us with an array of luminous virtues. Peace dispels agitation, generosity quells greed, and charity uproots anger from my life.  Confusion is a guarantee in this life, however, the power we receive from the Holy Spirit to withstand the storm of doubt and uncertainty is a gift!

Thank you for sharing!

3 Lessons from Super Bowl LII

/ chicoinematt

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First uttered in 1973 during the National League Pennant race by baseball legend Yogi Berra, the phrase “it ain’t over till it’s over” is now a staple colloquialism in American society. Watching Super Bowl LII made me think of this saying over and over. After last season’s epic comeback by the New England Patriots [and major collapse on the part of the Atlanta Falcons] in American football’s biggest stage, nothing is truly surprising to me anymore in the world of sports. We should be prepared for the unexpected! Actually, that is what most of the world received as the clock waned done to 00:00 in Super Bowl LII—a largely unexpected victory of the Philadelphia Eagles over the celebrated, and seemingly invincible juggernaut that is Tom Brady. I want to share three lessons I took from this game and how a sporting event provided some perspective to my spiritual journey.

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  1. Never Give Up: Anyone who has played a sport, whether professionally or at the amateur level knows that the overcome of the game is not done until the closing minutes—or even the final play. Whenever my friends and I played a pick-up game of basketball or football to relieve the stress of finals testing, the games were heated and typically ended in a close score. The first lesson I learned from watching Super Bowl LII is to never give up. It is always worth fighting until the end.

 

St. Paul often uses sports terminology when referring to persistence in the journey of faith. He tells us in Acts 20:24, “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me — the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.” Lessons from football, and other seemingly ordinary activities, can translate to the spiritual life. My time on this earth plane of existence is short, but the key is there is still time. God grants us time to have many chances at asking for forgiveness and bestowing mercy on others.

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  1. Be Bold: Another message I gathered from watching Super Bowl LII is that boldness pays off. Several times throughout the game the Eagles head coach decided to go for it on 4th Knowing he had to be gutsy in order to even have a shot beating an NFL dynasty like the Patriots, Doug Pederson, selected a trick play that may go down in football history as the most intrepid play ever—a direct snap to the running back, pitch to the tight end, and pass to the quarterback for a touchdown!

Possessing confidence in his team allowed for Eagles head coach Doug Pederson to boldly go where teams [aside from the New York Giants] went before—hoisting the Lombardi trophy in victory over the dynamic duo of Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. Such boldness captivated my attention along with the millions of other viewers of the Super Bowl. Bold and confident people attract others to themselves.

Saint Pope John Paul II was that type of individual. He once stated, “Do not be afraid. Do not be satisfied with mediocrity. Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” His words relate directly to my life situation. Struggling with confidence within my new job, I act in hesitancy that hampers my ability for achieving greater heights. Ironically, playing things safe, both in my professional and spiritual life do not lead to successes. God does not want us to worry about things outside of our control. Witnessing the football game of the year showed me that some risks are worth taking.

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  1. Rely on Him Who Gives Us Everything: During the trophy presentation of the Lombardi Trophy and the Super Bowl LII MVP award, the excitement of the coaches and players possessed a unique quality this time around. Obviously, any sane person would be ecstatic after winning such a highly touted championship event, but the joy the Philadelphia Eagles displayed seemed a bit different from previous awards ceremonies. All of the major figures in the Eagles franchise: owner, coaches, and quarterback—all opened their speeches with specific praises to God.

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Listening to various post-game interviews I came across this video of Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Nick Foles. His major message is to recognize our failures and look to God for stability in those tough times. We cling to God during the storms of life. Below is a link to this press conference:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5s7Ge7GkhO4

Nick Foles told reporters after the game, “I may be in the NFL. We may have just won the Super Bowl, but we still have daily struggles—I have daily struggles. But that is where my faith and family. When you look at a failure in your life it is an opportunity for your character to grow…I would not be out here [playing football] without God, without Jesus in my life.”  God seems to use normal, maybe even trivial stuff—like an NFL football game, to teach me about the importance of perseverance in the faith and cling to Him in time of need. In my daily struggles to grow in holiness, being a better parent, and a more loving neighbor to my fellow mankind I am grateful that God displayed Himself again to me through the ordinary example of a sporting event!

 

Thank you for sharing!