Editor’s Note: Matthew Chicoine interviewed Jocelyn Abyad via phone call on June 2nd, 2025. Some of the questions have been rearranged and edited to provide the best reader experience without losing any integrity of the answers given.
For those who may not be familiar, how would you describe the Melkite Catholic Church and what makes its liturgical and spiritual traditions unique within the Catholic Church?
I think if we are talking about the Melkite Church specifically, we are oneof the 23 Eastern Churches in full Communion with Rome. Our ancestry goes back to Antioch. That’s the most basic explanation.
Our Liturgical Rite isByzantine. Historically and geographically the Melkite Church has largely been based in Syria, more generally, the Levant and Egypt.
The various churches aren’t culture clubs but complete liturgical expressions of the Catholic faith.
I grew up Roman Catholic in Arizona and had no idea that the Eastern Catholic Churches existed. I had this narrow view of what Catholicism looked like. All the Eastern Churches bring universality through diversity to the table.
Before I married my husband I only thought of the Church as Roman Catholic. I truly never heard of Eastern Catholicism.
The MelkiteChurch does allow for priests to be married. A man may get ordained a priest after he is married, but if he is already a priest he cannot get married. My husband got ordained in 2022. He was a deacon for about 8 years prior to that.
As both a priest’s wife and a homeschooling mother of seven, how has your faith shaped your family life and vocation?
It’s everything! I think first and foremost, that our faith is the priority. Most Eastern Catholic parishes are smaller, so when you are in a leadership position you are kind of like a jack of all trades. As our responsibilities grew, we decided that homeschooling was the best option. It was a decision driven by our faith life.
My husband actually has a secular career as an aerospace engineer. It is a common practice in the Eastern Church for priests to work another job. In his work he has shaped his schedule to cater to his priesthood to make sure he is there for the community. For example, being available to celebrate funerals and take hospital calls.
Everything is second to God and his Church.
Liturgical living is a big part of your ministry. Can you share some practical ways Melkite traditions enrich liturgical life at home?
I think maybe other Eastern Catholics would say similar things. What I think is beautiful about our faith is that nothing is watered down. I helped to pick the vestments my husband wears, the meal planning is liturgically based. In the Melkite tradition we fast from meat on all Wednesdays and Fridays (not including Easter). And we are basically vegan during Great Lent. We also have a Dormition Fast (two weeks before the Feast of the Dormition of Mary); the Nativity Fast (two weeks before Christmas); the Apostles’ Fast (two weeks before the Feasts of Peter and Paul- June 29)
I love that the Divine Liturgy draws children into the mystery. One of my favorite memories in my heart is watching my children get baptized. They receive all the Sacraments of Initiation at once. I heard the Divine Liturgy being described as the chaos of life crashinginto the structure of the liturgy. Liturgy is immersive. When the priest processesthe children touch the priest’s robe like how the woman touched the hem of Jesus’ garment. I love that in the Melkite tradition we truly have an incarnate faith.
Smell the incense, kiss the icons, taste the Body of Christ.
Palm Sunday is really big for Melkites. All the people processoutside the church with their palms and decorated candles. During Holy Week we have nightly services that draw you truly into the Crucifixion. On Holy Saturday, we have a “pre-pascha” called the Blessing of the New Light to foreshadow the chains of death falling away and celebrating the Resurrection.
You co-founded We Carry You Still, a ministry for families who’ve experienced loss. How has your own journey through grief influenced your work in this area?
In 2020 and 2021, my husband and I lost three babies due to miscarriage. Frankly it shook my faith in ways I never experienced before. While we had some resources from my doctor, they were secular and weren’t theologically sound.
Over a year ago, myself and a couple friends started Carry You Still, we vet and share grief, loss, and miscarriage resources. I think this is the aspect of the pro-life movement that’s missing from the Church.
You can learn more about this ministry at https://wecarryyoustill.org/
There’s incredible healing that can happen after such loss and grief. The Church has answers.
Many Catholics are curious about the role of married clergy in the Eastern Churches. How do you see the vocation of the priesthood and marriage complementing each other?
I think one of the things God has laid on my heart as far as my end of things, is to be my husband’s number one supporter. Priests have a huge responsibility to serve a community and be the keeper and provider of the holy sacraments. I know that I am my husband’s best friend and comforter especially as he deals with heavy things.
I ask him to tell me as little as possible, as I find the politics of the Church discouraging. So for me to serve him, I like to know as little as possible in that aspect. On the flip side, some of the joys of being a clergy wife are being there for the parishioners’ big life events: baptisms, weddings, funerals. It is such hard work, a privilege and honor.
My husband has a unique role of serving the community in knowing the struggles and joys of married and family life personally. Those are some of the ways our marriage supports his vocation as a priest.
Readers may also be interested to know that priest’s wives in the Melkite Church are given the title “Khouria.” People call me Khouria Jocelyn at church.
What are some misconceptions Latin Rite Catholics might have about Eastern Catholicism, and how can we better understand and appreciate the diversity within the Church?
Part of it is the cultural club mentality. My husband and I joke about visitors seeing the “liturgical zoo” to see the “exotic Catholics.” So part of the misconception is that you have to be a member of a specific ethnic group to be a member of an Eastern Church. My husband is Middle Eastern but I am not
The second misconception is Latin Rite Catholics still confusing Eastern Catholics as being Eastern Orthodox.
We can as a Church and Her members, we pray for unity between the East and the West and that is how we can appreciate the diversity of our faith. Eastern Catholicism liturgical expression looks Orthodox. So the way forward is to embrace both East and West traditions and liturgical expressions in the unity of the Catholic Church.
Finally, if someone wanted to attend a Melkite Divine Liturgy for the first time, what should they expect—and what advice would you give them?
I tell folks that if you are in Phoenix to come see me! I encourage visitors to experience and immerse yourself in the Divine Liturgy. There’s less rules, we stand the whole time, our communion bread is leavened, and we all receive in the mouth but we don’t stick out our tongue. It’s like the chaos of life being bound within the structure of the Liturgy.
Where can my readers learn more about you and the Melkite Church?
My Instagram page as I do some more interviews and share homeschool tips. To learn more about the Melkite Church in general you can visit melkite.org. You may also visit my parish Saint John of the Desert.
About Jocelyn:
Jocelyn Abyad is the wife of Fr. Zyad Abyad and mother of 7 daughters on earth and 3 babies in Heaven. She holds a degree in psychology from Arizona State University and worked as a finance banker for over a decade before choosing to stay home to homeschool her children. Alongside her husband, she serves at St. John of the Desert Melkite Catholic Church in Phoenix, Arizona.Jocelyn shares insights on homeschooling and liturgical living across multiple platforms as Melkite Momma and is a regular contributor to Byzikids Magazine. In 2024, she co-founded We Carry You Still, a nonprofit ministry offering support and resources for women and families who have experienced miscarriage or infant loss. Throughout her work and personal experiences, Jocelyn seeks to foster faith, family, and community.
