By: Jessie Wiegand
Why Do Stories Matter?
“Remember the story about the boy who didn’t do anything and nothing ever happened to him?” I asked my teenage son who was facing some major life decisions. “No, Mom, that’s ridiculous,” he replied. “Yes. It is,” I answered, looking thoughtfully into his eyes. He got the point.
At this stage in my life, I’ve navigated being single, getting married, becoming a parent, putting my career and education on hold, the onset of an autoimmune disease, finishing that elusive degree, and returning to work. As the mother of five adult children, I’ve been through every season of parenting. As a Nana, I’m reliving those seasons from a privileged position that comes with a whole lot of fun and very little pressure. There are so many stories wrapped up in those last two sentences that it would take volumes to contain their words. Many don’t seem worth telling. All of them are essential.
Stories Are Formed By Decisions
This is the year I turn fifty. It’s the year my youngest moved out for good, and I became an actual empty-nester instead of a seasonal one. I’m keenly aware that there is no going back when it comes to the choices I made as a parent, but that is also true of every other choice I’ve made up to this point in life. The combination of those choices, from what I ate for breakfast to how I educated my children, are twists and turns in the larger narrative of my entire life. Each choice contributes to who I am in a way that I can neither escape nor ignore. The combined effect is as unique as my handwriting. It is what makes me, me. It is the one-of-a-kind story God is writing with my life.
I’ve tried to explain this phenomenon to my kids at various stages of their lives. Especially when they are faced with big decisions, but also when they are experiencing the negative effects of their small ones. We are all making decisions constantly, and many of us don’t stop to realize that the tiny choices we make are actually shaping us far more than the big ones. Just as trickling water carves dramatic shorelines, canyons, and gorges, the tiny stream of choices we make are etching out our character. What is being formed today becomes the form we work from tomorrow.
Stories Move Because of Action
Every good story progresses because of action. Sometimes that action is initiated by the main character’s choices, and other times the choices of others affect the main character and force a response. Sometimes, another character imposes itself upon the main character, completely removing their ability to choose their next move. No matter what, there is no story if the characters just sit around thinking about things and never act. Action moves the story along by presenting a rise and fall of tension and opening doors to new possibilities. Sometimes, the tension has to reach a breaking point before a character is moved to a major action. Sometimes, the decision is as simple as getting out of bed. No matter what, the story doesn’t move until the characters do.
We live in a time where the average person has never had so many choices, yet it’s easier to make none. Our world is full of opportunity, but it is also overwhelmingly full of distractions vying for our attention. The most insidious aspect of distractions are the way they stall the decision-making process. They can numb us completely or overwhelm us with perceived complexity. We can spend so much time in our heads (or on our devices) thinking about our options that we delay action for months or even years, sometimes removing possibilities simply because they expire. We’ve become people who avoid or over think and never do.
Our Life Is a Story
As a Catholic, the pursuit of virtue should be part of our everyday life. Pursuing virtue is marked by both deciding and doing the everyday things that Jesus and the saints have shown us will lead to personal holiness. We have more than enough evidence that personal holiness changes the world. Unfortunately, rather than doing it, we like to think about it. We like to read about it. Intrinsic to our faith is the belief that our lives are purposefully and meaningfully given to us by God. He is active, and we know that we should respond with action because without it, there is no story. Instead, we become the character who is acted upon by the Distractor, letting him lead the narrative while we remain passive.
So what does it look like when God is writing your story? There’s a lot of action. There are a lot of choices being made. Relationships are formed. Babies are born. Broken things are mended. The Works of Mercy are being done (sometimes with blood, sweat, and tears), and you’re the one doing them. The Fruit of the Spirit becomes reality instead of theory because you are actively forgiving, loving, being kind, and having patience. Prayer becomes more intimate because you have to rely on the connection with the Triune God as the source of knowledge and wisdom to discern all the choices, and the Mass becomes life because you’re in constant need of the Real Presence to nourish and satisfy your soul.
Playing an Active Role in Our Life Stories
As the active main character in our stories, we can find peace in knowing that every line, every page is moving us forward. We are never where we were in the beginning, and we cannot be who we will be in the end without every word in between. Each day is an exploration of the next development God is making in our stories. Every success and failure can be used for our good and His glory. In some ways, it’s tempting to ponder this deeply and stop to revel in the marvelous mystery of what He’s unfolding in our lives. However, we should always be aware that the Distractor is lurking in those moments, ready to feed us an unlimited buffet of things to think about doing.
If we really want the story to progress, and we want to be the one acting it, we need to get out of the thinking chair, decide what to do next, and go do it.
About Our Guest Blogger
Jessie Wiegand is an award winning multi-media storyteller and marketing professional. She specializes in creative storytelling that connects and inspires, and her best days start with a good book, a walk in the woods, and a conversation with her husband.
You can find more of her work at:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessie-wiegand
