Tsunami of Tiredness—Tips to Stay Afloat During Storms of Life

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Both a blessing and a curse, water exists as a life-giving resource or a potential deadly force—in the form of floods, monsoons, and hurricanes. The universality of hydrogen dioxide always is a great example to compare the stresses and storms of life against. Summer vacation does not always seem like a retreat especially as a father of three young children. Over the past week, my family traveled to a local state park and camped in a cabin, visited our municipal zoo, and went to a children’s museum. While on paper that seems a recipe for a smooth, carefree, and memorable family experience, the reality with having children with special needs do not necessarily match this ideal.

Power Struggles

The power-struggle of putting our four-year old toddler to bed each night combined with daily challenges adapting to two sons on the autism spectrum needs to be frequently prepared for change led to lassitude. Mere fatigue does not adequately capture my wife and I’s emotional, physical, and mental state. In fact, my energy was zapped from me and it felt like we withstood—ONLY by a great miracle—a tsunami of tiredness!

Precisely how did I live through the most recent storm of life?  Reflecting on the course of the past week, I realized some important ways to survive, or stay afloat, maelstroms of life.

Lord is my rock and refuge

The Rock We May Cling To

According to Matthew 11:28, Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” The Old Testament also speaks of entrusting your concerns, weariness, and anxieties with the Lord. Isaiah 40:31 describes this, “But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” Moreover, the Psalmist describes God as a bastion to remain safe: “But the LORD is my fortress; my God is the mighty rock where I hide” (Psalm 94:22).

What I find interesting is the description of God as a mighty rock as a place for us to hide. Amid stressful situations it may seem like a copout to go into hiding while the storm passes. However, hiding is not the same as fleeing.

As a parent, I go into brief periods of hiding [into another room or even outside] when the noise, raucous, and whining of my children compound on each other. Taking a five minute break in the form of “hiding” into another room or at least seeking “hiding” through prayer is actually a healthy thing that makes the difference to me parental mindset. Frankly, I need to utilize opportunities to “hide” or cling to the rock of Our Lord much more often that I do currently!

stella maris

Mary—Model to Mirror

Along with the stalwart strength God affords us during the stormy seas of life, looking to the Blessed Virgin Mary as a role model to emulate is another way that I stay afloat during bouts of exhaustion. My family’s favorite appellation for Mary is Star of the Sea. In fact, through this devotion of Stella Maris [Latin for Star of the Sea] that my wife’s faith as. Convert to Catholicism deepened!

A nautical theme exists in our living room and bedroom with the walls decorated with anchors. These aquatic ballasts symbolize the ability to be anchored in the Lord and experience security continual turmoil of daily stresses. As the supreme role model for humanity, the Blessed Mother of God shows us that obedience to God is possible.

Guided back to Shore

My personal favorite quote about Mary’s guidance comes from St. Thomas Aquinas. According to the Doctor of the Church, “As mariners are guided into port by the shining of a star, so Christians are guided to heaven by Mary” Another sainted doctor, Francis de Sales, provides incredibly powerful words to describe Mary’s intercessory influence, “Let us run to her, and, as her little children, cast ourselves into her arms with a perfect confidence.”

ron swanson ready

Ready, Set, and Prepare for the Next Storm

Together with reliance on God and looking to Mary as a human role model, being prepared is absolutely essential for withstanding a current maelstrom you may be experiencing and for weathering future flurries.  According to St. Josemaria Escriva, “Discouragement is the enemy of your perseverance. If you don’t fight against discouragement, you will become pessimistic first and lukewarm afterward. Be an optimist (The Way, no. 988

Prepare yourself with seeing trials that come into your life as an opportunity to learn and grow instead of being a burden drown you in a sea of depression. I honestly did not realize that the Spanish saint’s feast day was today until I noticed a post from in a Catholic group I follow on Facebook.

Even as I am writing now I struggle with physical stamina and mental mettle to complete this post. Suddenly, looking at an underlined passage that begins the chapter entitled Perseverance—I pause and realize that preparation does pay off! St. Josemaria reminded me, “To begin is for everyone, to persevere is for saints” (The Way, no. 983).

Without God’s previous preparation and my cooperation in that through my learning about the wisdom of St. Josemaria Escriva, there conclusion to this post would be a little rocky [no pun intended!]. I am always willing to seek the advice of the spiritual giants who came before me. I always desire to seek an opportunity to better myself.

Go Out to Sea of the World with God’s Grace

While I failed to exit the most recent life-storm unscathed and with grace  [both my wife and kids know that I lost my patience many times and pledge to be a better husband and father], my  reliance on God as a rock of strength, Mary as a guide, and the rest of the saints as models to emulate I will be better provided to stay afloat with the next  tsunami of tiredness hits. I pray that you find this read helpful and stay afloat with me using these tips during your storm(s) of life as well!

Staying-Afloat

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432 Hz, Monkey Bars, and Visiting the Farm: The Miraculous April Weekend

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C.S. Lewis wrote in his work Miracles, “Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.” This weekend I experienced the miraculous in the seemingly mundane. Before I go into detail, I need to provide a little background on my family’s situation. My youngest child who is two years old was recently diagnosed on with mild to severe autism spectrum disorder. Working with local educational and developmental professional he receives occupational, developmental, and speech therapies. Daily life is difficult for typical toddlers, but my son’s trials some days are compounded due to his cognitive delays.

The perfectionist in me seeks the attainable and perfection. However, I took up a new motto when it came to parenting and teaching my youngest son: Practice makes progress. Believe me practice does make progress. I am still fighting my perfectionist tendencies currently! Realistic goals provide a healthier home atmosphere than giving my children unattainable goals. Our two-year old had a breakthrough in his development—true progress displayed and his hard work in therapy paid off. Before we began developmental therapy, my son struggled to communicate his needs. As a result of his inability to properly convey his wants/needs he would bang his head on the ground when overcome with stress. Additionally, every single transition point over the course of the day involved intense meltdowns. While my son still struggles to transition smoothly from activity to activity, he is making progress.

Together with the diligent efforts my toddler and his teachers put into his therapies, my wife learned about the amazing power certain music/sounds that calm the mind. According to the German mathematician Gerhard Huisken, “music tuned to 432 Hz is softer and brighter, giving greater clarity and is easier on the ears. Many people experience more meditative and relaxing states of body and mind when listening to such music. The natural musical pitch of the universe gives a more harmonic and pleasant sound than 440 Hz” (cited from https://attunedvibrations.com/432hz/). I took my three children to the playground this past Saturday. Here I utilized the power of 432 Hz.

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Cabin fever took over my household over the long and drawn out winter of 2017-2018. Outside time was an activity that the doctor ordered! Along with ambling up the stairs and going down the slide by himself—and actually enjoying it—my toddler transitioned well from leaving the park back to the car. Normally, if I placed him in the stroller, wiggling, screaming, and flaying would ensue. What did I do differently this time? I downloaded a 432 Hz player app on my smartphone and played sounds with that frequency as I placed him in the stroller? Almost instantly, the power-struggle ceased. Is this a magic cure? Certainly not, however, the discovery of using 432 Hz frequency is a miracle as my wife and I found another strategy for our educational toolbox to help our child out with his development.

Along with a healthy dose of outdoor time and changing the frequency, we celebrated my godson’s First Communion. After Mass, we traveled to my aunt and uncle’s house for lunch. In the past, we discovered that new scenes oftentimes disrupted our son’s routine. Any sudden change within his daily habits nearly leads to intense meltdowns.  Prepped for an apocalyptic afternoon [at least on the car ride home] my wife and I were pleasantly surprised and quite proud that our toddler had a fun and major meltdown free Sunday. Gamboling in the vast outside spaces, frequently visiting my cousins’ parakeets, discovering hay-bales,  and playing Legos with his siblings and cousins provided plenty of chances for our son to exercise some independence in a new environment.

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My family truly experienced the miraculous in the final weekend of April. Aside from the Mass, as Catholics  weekly partake of the miracle of transubstantiation–mere elements of bread and wine  having the substance changed into the “body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus Christ” while retaining the appearances of mere bread and wine, we experienced the miraculous in the form of hope in ordinary living.  C.S. Lewis stated, “If miracles were offered us as events that normally occurred, then the progress of science, whose business is to tell us what occurs, would render belief in them gradually harder and finally impossible” (Miracles, p. 75).

Science certainly has the ability to explain why 432 Hz is the preferred frequency, describe the development of farmland, and inform us how exercise on playground sets provide health benefits to children. However, the amazing part of our weekend was being surprised by the progress our two-year displayed. Albert Einstein once said, “There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.” Which way do you prefer to live? Finding the miraculous in ordinary living is both a challenge and a joy!

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“and they were astonished at his teaching because he spoke with authority” –Luke 4:32

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When God’s Love Spans Six and Half Decades…

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Marriage. Commitment. Life-long. Children. Sacrament. Relationship. Infidelity. Temporary. Burdensome. Secular. 

 I wrote out 10 words that relate to the topic of my post today-marriage. The first half relate to a Catholic understanding of this institution whereas the second half refer to how marriage is viewed under a modern lens. I recently saw on Facebook a person who celebrated the fact that they were getting divorced and gaining freedom to “do whatever they wanted to now!” Mind you, I do not know they story and I hope there was a valid reason for why they got divorced. Furthermore, we as Catholics are attacked for having an “antiquated view on marriage”. People say that it is not possible to stay in a monogamous and committed marriage for life. We don’t have to look to far in Hollywood when former Disney star, Miley Cyrus, is lambasting Christians for being judgmental towards others on the topic of who can marry who.

I am not out to start a debate over marriage. I simply want to give you, my readers, a tangible glimpse at what God’s love looks when the sacrament of marriage is lived as it ought to be–a faithful life-long commitment between a man and woman. This Friday, my grandparents  celebrated 65 years of marriage. You heard me right 65 YEARS OF MARRIAGE! I am blessed to witness their love and patience over the years. To quote my grandmother when asked what it takes to make it that long she stated, “You need to rely on God for strength”. I have never heard my grandparents argue. I have heard them discuss things at length, but voices never seemed to raise to the point of an argument. I firmly believe that was not by their own will power. It is through God that my grandparents learned patience and forgiveness. 

Having 11 children [my dad being the oldest] my grandparents had lots of helpers to grow in holiness. Now a generation or two later they have over 35 grandchildren and great-grand-children. During their celebration luncheon my aunts and uncles wanted to get pictures of every family combination with grandma and grandpa. Let me tell you both of them were troopers and emitted rays of holiness through their patience. I have seen plenty of elderly people and not-so elderly people (myself included) that get impatient with family photos and the constant phrases of “say cheese!” or “only one more time” or “where is cousin Benji?. But my grandparents calmly waited. Why? Because they know that why the day was in honor of them an awareness that the needs of their family was more important. THAT IS WHAT GOD’S LOVE LOOKS LIKE! It is about sacrifice. It is about not arguing with your spouse [grandpa is great with this] because your pride is not all that matters.

I hope you share this post with anyone who comes from a shattered family. Not because I am saying my family is perfect [everyone can always improve in holiness] but rather to show them that finding an “end-game spouse” is possible. Finally, I am grateful for grandparents’ openness for life and not seeing children as a burden since now I enjoy spending time with many cousins who I consider friends. Plus, I had a bunch of people to play Ultimate Frisbee with yesterday, but more about that in a later post. 

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