Marriage. Commitment. Life-long. Children. Sacrament. Relationship. Infidelity. Temporary. Burdensome. Secular.
I wrote out 10 words that relate to the topic of my post today-marriage. The first half relate to a Catholic understanding of this institution whereas the second half refer to how marriage is viewed under a modern lens. I recently saw on Facebook a person who celebrated the fact that they were getting divorced and gaining freedom to “do whatever they wanted to now!” Mind you, I do not know they story and I hope there was a valid reason for why they got divorced. Furthermore, we as Catholics are attacked for having an “antiquated view on marriage”. People say that it is not possible to stay in a monogamous and committed marriage for life. We don’t have to look to far in Hollywood when former Disney star, Miley Cyrus, is lambasting Christians for being judgmental towards others on the topic of who can marry who.
I am not out to start a debate over marriage. I simply want to give you, my readers, a tangible glimpse at what God’s love looks when the sacrament of marriage is lived as it ought to be–a faithful life-long commitment between a man and woman. This Friday, my grandparents celebrated 65 years of marriage. You heard me right 65 YEARS OF MARRIAGE! I am blessed to witness their love and patience over the years. To quote my grandmother when asked what it takes to make it that long she stated, “You need to rely on God for strength”. I have never heard my grandparents argue. I have heard them discuss things at length, but voices never seemed to raise to the point of an argument. I firmly believe that was not by their own will power. It is through God that my grandparents learned patience and forgiveness.
Having 11 children [my dad being the oldest] my grandparents had lots of helpers to grow in holiness. Now a generation or two later they have over 35 grandchildren and great-grand-children. During their celebration luncheon my aunts and uncles wanted to get pictures of every family combination with grandma and grandpa. Let me tell you both of them were troopers and emitted rays of holiness through their patience. I have seen plenty of elderly people and not-so elderly people (myself included) that get impatient with family photos and the constant phrases of “say cheese!” or “only one more time” or “where is cousin Benji?. But my grandparents calmly waited. Why? Because they know that why the day was in honor of them an awareness that the needs of their family was more important. THAT IS WHAT GOD’S LOVE LOOKS LIKE! It is about sacrifice. It is about not arguing with your spouse [grandpa is great with this] because your pride is not all that matters.
I hope you share this post with anyone who comes from a shattered family. Not because I am saying my family is perfect [everyone can always improve in holiness] but rather to show them that finding an “end-game spouse” is possible. Finally, I am grateful for grandparents’ openness for life and not seeing children as a burden since now I enjoy spending time with many cousins who I consider friends. Plus, I had a bunch of people to play Ultimate Frisbee with yesterday, but more about that in a later post.